Munchkins 1 and 2

Thursday, April 29, 2010 1 Comments A+ a-

Munchkin #2, Hudson Jonathan – My little man, my sports fanatic. I’m not sure what has changed within the past few weeks, but suddenly my son is a confident and social child. He’s had a number of appointments these past couple of weeks and whenever I was asked if he’d go back on his own accord, I answered with an absolute no. Needless to say, he proved me wrong every time, following the dental hygienist or the evaluator with his arms swinging and this little march that he does. He makes me smile.

One of those appointments was for Hudson to have his speech evaluated by our local school district. For whatever reason I thought it’d be easier, having already gone through this with Devyn, but it wasn’t. It was still as humbling and heart-wrenching as the first time, and I still cried as they went over the results with me. I think part of the reason is that I feel as though there’s something I’m lacking as a parent that would allow both my oldest children have speech issues, and in my own feelings of failure, I’ve been scared to broach the subject here. Hudson speaks more than Devyn ever did at this age, but its still not at the level of most three-year-olds. And the biggest difference between Hudson and Devyn is that Devyn could’ve cared less about communicating, her needs were still being met. But Hudson very much wants to communicate and when he can’t, he gets incredibly frustrated and upset.

The results were what I expected, and we’re being referred on to school district’s speech, occupational, and physical therapists for further evaluations. (Just to clarify, they don’t think anything’s wrong with his motor skills, but its all part of the evaluation process.) I’ll be sure to keep you all posted.

He has one more week of soccer and then he’s done for the season. I have absolutely adored getting to watch my little man in his element and you can tell he adores that one-on-one time with his daddy. (Have I ever mentioned that I think Hudson’s love language is Quality Time? It’s very obvious to those of us that are close to him.) He is still very attached to his baseball bat or golf club, and even took it with him to his MOPS group last week. His teacher pulled Jon aside last night and asked if she could be Hudson’s agent. We laugh, but truly, that little boy is gifted with some athletic ability.

Munchkin #1, Devyn Paige – We are drawing to a close on Devyn’s preschool year and she has learned so much during this year. We have our final parent-teacher-speech therapist conference next week and I’m both excited and anxious to hear their thoughts on our Miss Paige. As a parent, I’ve seen tremendous strides with her speech, with her social interactions, and her interest in learning. Its been fascinating to watch her develop and grow, and I’m in awe that in a few short months I’ll have a kindergartner. Wow!

Devyn continues to be an excellent big sister to both Hudson and Reagan, but I’m starting to see some of the small sibling “stuff” that can annoy her. I’m then quick to allow Devyn some alone time to recharge and regroup. She is truly an introvert at heart and those alone times do wonders for her spirit.

She is still my sensitive and emotional one, which can often drive her daddy a little crazy. I often joke with him that he hasn’t seen anything yet, just wait until the hormones arrive. He doesn’t think that’s very funny. But she especially tuned in to the nuances and dynamics of both our immediate family and both extended families. She is very insightful, even at five years of age, and I’m constantly amazed at what she comes up with on her own. She’s already taken to praying for her newest sibling, and has even started praying for Christine’s future baby every single night.

She can’t wait to take ballet and swimming lessons this summer, is looking forward to having Mommy home with her every day, and has made grand plans to spend time with her many friends (her words, not mine), including her best friends, Emma and Addison. And the family cabin is never far from her mind, asking when we get to go again. Sigh. A girl after Daddy’s own heart…

Munchkins #3 and #4

Wednesday, April 28, 2010 0 Comments A+ a-

It’s been a while since I’ve updated everyone on the Munchkins, the very reasons this blog exists in the first place.

Munchkin #4 – Its still hard to believe that we’re adding another to this already crazy brood, but really, I’m so happy about it. Devyn and Hudson are often off playing together, leaving Reagan to be entertained by yours truly. I love that Reagan is going to get a playmate of her very own. We definitely have our girl’s name picked out (much to the chagrin of a sister who is not a fan of the name) and have some strong contenders on the boy list.

As you know, we saw the heartbeat last Thursday (whoo hoo!) but I didn’t tell you about the phone call after that ultrasound from the doctor. They actually found a sub-chronic hemorrhage behind the baby, essentially it’s a pocket of blood between the uterus and the placenta. It can be risk factor for a miscarriage, but both my doctor and another OB highly doubt it. Surprisingly, I’m not worried or anxious about this in the least. One, the doctors are pretty cavalier about it, Dr. Susie said that with the advances in medical technology they’re getting better about noticing them but that they’re becoming increasingly common. And two, I had this same thing when I was pregnant with Devyn, and that turned out fine. You’d think after being prone to anxiousness, this would send me over the edge, but I have such a peace about it.

I also had my first regular, OB appointment on Monday and received the most wonderful surprise when Dr. Susie found Munchkin’s heartbeat. I had absolutely no expectation of hearing the heartbeat at this appointment, especially since Dr. Tim couldn’t find it just five days earlier. But she took her time and just as she was getting ready to give up, she found it. Oh, I never cease to be amazed at the miracle of life!

Munchkin #3, Reagan Rea – Oh my! This little girl is a pistol! No one seems to believe us since she’s as calm as can be around strangers, but you put her in an environment where she’s comfortable and the girl lets loose. She is by far the loudest of my children, not satisfied with sharing her expectations with us, but screaming them. (Jon tells me to just wait, that if I think Reagan’s loud, just wait until the fourth arrives.) She will seriously scream whether she’s happy, upset, or just wants to be heard.

She is now at a point where she merely tolerates both siblings. She knows what she wants and if anyone dares to stand in her way, she will make her displeasure known! There are times she wants to be included in their games, for example, she and Hudson will hit a golf ball or hockey puck back and forth in the kitchen. (I really need to get a picture of that someday.) And sometimes she prefers to play with her dolls by herself. No one can ever say this girl is not independent.

My favorite thing about Reagan is her reaction to being disciplined, and wow, we are already working on the no hitting thing. But the moment you discipline her, she refuses to make eye contact with anyone, preferring instead to stare at the floor between her feet or some imaginary point on the wall. Her brow is furrowed in concentration, her lips in a pout, as she decides whether or not she’s going to react to said discipline. At which point, she usually has no reaction whatsoever. Except to maybe turn her face just a little and smile her infectious smile, complete with wrinkled nose, so the discipliner completely forgets why she was just disciplined in the first place. She is an absolute ball!

Ok, enough for now, gotta head off to my last Wednesday afternoon of working; I’ll cover Munchkins #2 and #1 tomorrow.

4 Days To Go

Tuesday, April 27, 2010 5 Comments A+ a-

Four days and counting until I’m officially a full-time stay-at-home-mommy. Four days. Wow.

You’d think as the day crept closer I’d be giddy and overwrought with excitement, but you’d be mistaken. (Just keeping it real, folks, keeping it real.) Instead, the reality of being without my consistent income is weighing on my mind.

Jon and I pretty upfront and open about our struggles with finances with anyone face-to-face; however, we’re both in agreement that those struggles should stay off the world wide web. Otherwise, if you know us in person, by all means, feel free to ask. We’re an open book.

But I do feel I can share this small tidbit with you all; I am the financial worrier of the two of us. I’m the one that’ll lay awake when I don’t understand how the finances will work out, I’m the one that stresses over bills or the amount (or lack thereof) in our checking account. Yep, it’s me. This is a HUGE change for us, one that I have no doubt will benefit us as a family, but it doesn’t negate the fact that I worry.

“…give me neither poverty nor riches! Give me just enough to satisfy my needs. For if I grow rich, I may deny you and say, “Who is the Lord?” And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name.” Proverbs 30:8-9

I don’t need, nor want, riches. (Not that I think rich people are bad! Just wanted to clarify there.) I simply believe that with having riches comes a whole new set of pitfalls that I’m not sure I could avoid, one of which, is starting to rely on that money instead of God to pull you through hard times. My head believes that God will provide for our needs (our needs, Jenn, not the blackberry, not the cable TV, our needs), now it’s just a matter of getting my heart to believe the same.

Truly, this state of living in the in-between, not quite done with work but almost there, has created quite a conflict of feelings in this already overcome Mama on hormones. Euphoria vs. worry, excitement vs. melancholy. Poor Jon, I can’t imagine what it must be like to live with me right now. And I imagine if you ask me a week from now, I’ll probably have a completely different answer for you.

But this is the here and now. I’m four short days away from saying good-bye to coworkers, an environment, I’ve known for ten years. They’ve seen me go from single woman to married to mother of three in those ten years, and I will miss all of them greatly. I imagine Friday is going to be an extremely emotional day for me.

However, in four short days, I will also be home with my children, where I have wanted to be for the past 5+ years. Wow.

A Little of This and That

Friday, April 23, 2010 6 Comments A+ a-

I came into work this morning and found a handmade pendant from my jewelry-making-coworker. It had this picture and saying on it, I laughed out loud.

I have new magic pills, no longer blue and no longer dealing with depression. (The doctor has asked me to tough out the 1st trimester without going back on the antidepressants.) These have everything to do with my nausea and they…are…magic! I’ve taken phenergan for the previous three pregnancies, but only when I’m desperate and only when I know another adult is in the house because they knock me out. The doctor I saw yesterday was more than happy to prescribe zofran and wow! They work and I can still function; which is a highly desirable quality when trying to mother three children. They are my new best friends.

We had a family get-together, all the sisters, husbands, our parents, the kiddos, and Courtney’s baby, Willow. (Who Mom and I have decided looks like Crawl, the Chinese Crested dog, from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. And Courtney is going to be very mad that I said that. Sorry Court!) We got together to start discussing vacation plans for summer of 2011. We’re looking at beach homes in the Galvalston or South Padre Island area in Texas. I am getting excited as we’re starting to check out beach homes to rent. How fun is that going to be?!

Anyone that knows me a little bit, knows that organization and cleaning is not my forte. I have come to embrace cooking, love baking, and don’t even mind the laundry (when I can find the time to do it). But things are quickly falling apart at home, and it’s become even more apparent that I simply could not continue working and trying to maintain a home while mothering, being pregnant, and trying to maintain a side business. What I need is a maid, preferably a cheap, or free, one. Any takers?

Did I mention that I have one more week of work? One more week! Its good news for everyone as I simply am no good to the department right now. Heck, I was online looking at vacation homes this morning. =) Thankfully, I have an understanding boss and coworkers.

I'm ready for vacation now...

Beautiful Little Baby

Thursday, April 22, 2010 8 Comments A+ a-

One beautiful, little heartbeat, flickering on the screen, and relief flooded my body. As I exhaled my big sigh of relief, Jon looked at the ultrasound technician and said, “You’d think after three babies, she’d be a little more laidback.”

The technician chuckled. “Nope,” she answered. “It doesn’t matter if it’s their first or fourth pregnancy, every woman is worried until she sees that first heartbeat.” I smiled secretly to myself, thankful I wasn’t the only irrational woman on this earth.

I’d go into the details of the “need” of the ultrasound, but then I’d have to reveal the deeply neurotic thoughts that run through this mind of mine. Just like I’d have to share with you the story that would highlight just how emotional this pregnancy is making me (thus my maturity level has dropped a good 20 points), and my inability to think before acting. So, no, I’m not going there.

Really, the only thing that matters is that we saw one little heartbeat today. And the flickering made me smile…

In The Womb

Wednesday, April 21, 2010 4 Comments A+ a-

One of the most spectacular, miraculous things, the beauty of life. I just had to share this with you all. Video from "In The Womb" a National Geographic documentary, music "Passage through Ancient Relics" by Nicholas Gunn.

Thank you, Father, for this miracle that grows in me! Blessed be your name!

Quick (Blurry) Snapshots

Monday, April 19, 2010 11 Comments A+ a-

Some pictures off my blackberry from this past weekend. Please excuse the grainy, very blurry quality of the photos. Obviously that did not stop me from sharing these with you all. But feel free to bypass this post all together if your eyes can't handle the poor quality.

A quick picture I managed to capture of Miss Reagan, our resident Irish Lass. I adore her, seriously am head over heels in love with this girl. I adore her reddish curls, her blue eyes (the only one to get Daddy’s blue eyes so far), and her sassy spirit. Truly, she has just the right amount of sass that I like in my girls. She keeps things hopping around here.

And then this… a quick snapshot of this…

I’ve already had a few comments of “Oh, you’re already showing!” Which I’ve quickly denied with a quick explanation of, “Oh no, this is just leftover gut from the last pregnancy.” However, within the past few days, I’ve had to start unbuttoning my jeans about midday. Ladies! I am only 8 weeks pregnant. Truly I can’t already be sporting a little tummy. But when I tried on a new maternity shirt from my friend, Mandy (thank you again Mandy!), I could no longer deny the truth. Oy vey! Its going to be a long 9 months…

Dang it!!

Friday, April 16, 2010 7 Comments A+ a-

Dang it! He was right. Again. And its not that I don’t mind admitting when I’m wrong and he’s right, its just such a huge pill to swallow when I threw such a fit about it in the first place.

For those that have been reading my blog for any length of time, know that I experience bad post-partum depression after the births of my babies. And I’m very reliant on my little blue pills to even out my hormone levels. It’s not that they’re a crutch for me, or provide any kind of false emotional stability or highs; they simply make everything balanced. I am myself on those pills; I’m able to function with some sense of normalcy. And that is everything to me. I’ve been off those little blue pills for almost three weeks now, since we discovered that I’m pregnant.

So the loss of my “balance” combined with big life changes such as leaving a job I’ve worked at for ten years and an unexpected pregnancy, plus having Jon go to Denver for a week for training and dealing with 1st trimester’s exhaustion and nausea made for the perfect storm. And man, did it pour.

Wednesday night was my breaking point. I’d felt it building for a few days, the feelings of being completely overwhelmed and under-qualified. Feelings of inadequacy and feeling I was in over my head, combined with the added pressure of doing it all “myself” were too much. And I had a meltdown. Complete with an ugly cry.

I was on the phone with Jon, pouring my gut out to him, when the crying started. Poor Devyn and Hudson, unsure of what to do with a crying mom, decided to join in. Hudson crawled into my lap and bawled his little eyes out; Devyn asked if I was dying. And then I realized that I had scared the poor children and needed to pull it together. I got off the phone and dumped all three kiddos into a bath, assuring them that Mommy was ok. (And gosh darn it, I WAS ok. I’m allowed moments now and then, right?!)

But wouldn’t you know it, not ten minutes later my phone rang and I didn’t even have to look at the caller ID to know who it was. Yep. My mother. I cursed Jon under my breath and answered the phone to orders to pack up and head down to their house. You can bet I fought it. After all, I’m 30 years old, mother of three and one in the oven. I’m an adult and surely, I can handle even this. I fought it for a good hour or two. I even called Jon and gave him an earful.

But then cooler heads prevailed, and I realized that even if the only positive thing to come out of moving to my parents’ house those last few days was a peace of mind for Jon, well then, that was good enough for me. And so I packed all four of us up, complete with children in pjs and hair still wet from their bath, and the pack ‘n play, and headed down to my parents. I called Jon on the way, told him I was going (albeit with bad feelings), and then asked him why he thought I needed to do this. His response? “Jenn, I know you better than you know yourself. You NEED this.” I hmpfed and hung up.

But you know what? The most irritating thing about this whole week? He was right. I did need it; I needed their extra hands and support. And I know he’s reading this with a self-satisfied smile on his face because I finally admitted he was right.

Dang it!!

Two Blue Lines

Thursday, April 15, 2010 7 Comments A+ a-

Two blue lines… That’s all I saw for three days. Two blue lines.

Unlike my previous pregnancies where there was an immediate attachment upon getting a positive pregnancy test, this time I couldn’t equate those two blue lines with a baby. I think my head understood what those two lines meant. Lines + 9 Months = Baby. But my heart wasn’t quite ready to accept that fact.

So for three days, I simply stared at those lines.

There were questions, and concerns voiced out loud. I asked Jon how he knew, how did he possibly know something that wasn’t even a thought in my own mind. His response? A shrug. “I just knew,” he said. Right.

He believed me, right? He knew this was something I’d never want to trick him into, right? He always answered with a self-assured nod, of course not. You're not that kind of person, and it takes two to tango. (Literally.)

I worried about sleeping arrangements if Baby #4 turns out to be another girl. Jon was quick and decisive with a plan of putting either Hudson or Devyn into the basement bedroom and the two younger girls could share a room.

He was my rock, my calm in the midst of the storm, and I truly don’t know what I would’ve done without him. He always had an answer for each concern and question of mine, and was quick to offer reassurances and hope in what seemed an unlikely, impossible situation.

Then one night, days after those two blue lines appeared, I was cooking dinner when Jon snuck up behind me, snuck his arm around my middle, and placed his hand over my womb. “How’s the little one, Mama?” he whispered in my ear.

I froze.

That’s when my heart connected to my head.

A baby… another sibling for our children… another blessing in this already chaotic home… another miracle growing inside of me.

Who am I to be so blessed? I can’t begin to tell you how unworthy I feel of this calling, how inept I feel at times. But I'm grateful. And excited. And already in love with this growing babe.

A Not-So-Quick Update

Tuesday, April 13, 2010 9 Comments A+ a-

I am tired. Busy. Overwhelmed.

I hesitate to write when I’m at this point because, truly, who wants go somewhere and read the negative. But as always, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t share the bad along with the good.

This week is not a good week to ask me how I’m doing because I can’t help but question God’s wisdom in thinking I can handle all this, plus the exhaustion and nausea of the 1st trimester. These are the moments when I question God’s sanity in thinking I can handle four children. Doesn’t He see I can barely hold it together with just three?

It could be that Jon’s gone all week for training in Denver, and where I’d normally just pack up the kids and head down to my parents house for the week, I can’t do that now because of our dog, Gracie. So while I’m in the midst of holding down meals and snacks, and sneaking in naps whenever the kids are napping, I’m also refereeing fights, laying down the law, and trying to keep some kind of order around here. Of course, since I’m so NOT good at laying down the law, it would explain why both Hudson and Devyn were in our bed last night, NOT sleeping, at 11:00pm. Go me!

It could be that I’ve been taken off the anti-depressants cold-turkey since finding out I was pregnant. And this time around, its hard! It could be any combination of things. The stress of being a single-parent this week, the fast approaching last day of my job, or maybe its the fact that I was on a higher dose of medication this time around. Who knows? But I do know that some decisions are going to have to be made about whether or not to get back on the medication. I realize that the 1st trimester is so critical to development and growth of the baby, but I’m not sure losing my mind in the process is a good idea.

In other, not so depressing, news, my children do keep me laughing. Hudson is now insisting that we say, “God bless baseball” at prayer times and now wants me to make pitching signals when we’re playing catch. Devyn loves the Easter peeps she got from her Grammie, but the best part is when she keeps referring to them as “mushrooms”. No matter how many times I tell her they’re marshmallows, she still calls them mushrooms. And Reagan has found a new way to annoy her siblings to death. She picks up the remote, points it at the TV, and starts pushing random buttons. The ensuing cries of “Reagan!” just make her smile wider. I swear that girl knows EXACTLY what she’s doing.

Ok, there you have it. A not-so-quick update on the goings-on around here and some random facts about my three kids. I’ll tell you this much, my life is never going to be boring with them around and that is what keeps me sane. (For the moment.)

The Cat's Out

Thursday, April 08, 2010 9 Comments A+ a-

Well, now that the cat’s out of the bag, here are some random thoughts during these past 12 days.
  • Devyn absolutely cannot be trusted with a secret, and I place full blame for this on Nana. I can’t tell you how many times she’s blurted out, "Mommy’s having another baby. She doesn’t want to tell anyone, but Nana and I are going to tell everyone!" to anyone within hearing distance. Thanks Mom! Hence, the reason its coming out much sooner than I intended.

  • The nausea has kicked in. It doesn’t matter if my stomach is empty or full, nothing seems to help. And while I’m not a fan of it, there’s a bittersweet feeling to it all. I seem to be taking it all in and trying to enjoy every moment of this last pregnancy. I want to remember this, even my least favorite moments.

  • Everyone keeps asking how I’m feeling and thankfully, I feel pregnant. I am emotional to the nth degree, crying at everything and anything. I hit walls of exhaustion where I cannot keep my eyes open a moment longer. And the nausea. But all of this just means that the hormones are working as they should, and that is reassuring.

  • The most common reaction we’re getting when we tell people is laughter, the deep, rolling laughter of one who is in disbelief. And looks of astonishment. Yes, I’m aware that three is already a large number of children by today’s standards. And yes, I can’t believe we’re having another one either. But so help me, if I get compared to Mrs. Duggar one more time, I won’t be responsible for my actions.

  • I’m looking at three weeks left of work and I have so many mixed emotions. I’m ecstatic about being home and getting to set new routines and new expectations of myself and our children. I just can’t imagine where I’ll start and the possibilities seem endless. On the other hand, I’m leaving behind a place I’ve known for over 10 years. They have been good to me through the years and I find myself getting incredibly weepy at the thought of leaving. It could be the hormones, but I’m surprised at how sentimental I am.

  • Since I’m reflecting so much on being home, the loss of my income, and the addition of another mouth, I’ve been reflecting on this scripture a lot right now. "... give me neither poverty, nor riches! Give me just enough to satisfy my needs. For if I grow rich, I may deny you and say, "Who is the Lord?" And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name." Proverbs 30:8-9. I feel a whole post developing about this scripture, I just love it!

  • Another post simmering in this head of mine is regarding the questions I’d hoped to ask myself before we started talking about the idea of #4. Expectations that I have of myself as a mother, wife, and a woman; all that I hope for my children and my role in helping them achieve their potential and their dreams; and whether or not I’ll have the time and energy to achieve those expectations. They’re hard questions, and ones I’m working through.

  • And to that end, Devyn and I had a much-needed mother-daughter date the other night. We went through the Taco John’s drive-thru, ordered some churros, and parked the car, where Devyn scrambled up into the passenger seat. As we sat munching on that cinnamon-sugary goodness, we just talked and talked; I got to hear about school and her thoughts on her classmates and teachers. We talked about becoming a big sister again, and her love of the Bullfrogs & Butterflies praise CD. It was wonderful to spend that one-on-one time with her and catch a small glimpse into what the future might hold for our relationship. I’m realizing more than ever how intentional I’m going to have to be to maintain a close relationship with all four of my children. (Did I really just type out four?! Really?!)

  • We have a busy weekend coming up. We’re finishing up Week 10 of Beth Moore’s Daniel study; it has been amazing! And where I was once terrified to learn about end-time events, I now find myself comforted by the knowledge we’ve gleaned from this study. So much so, that I think we might be doing her Revelation study next. There’s also a birthday party and a girls dinner out for this Mama. No, Babe, I haven’t forgotten all the housework we must get caught up on!

It will be a busy and full weekend ahead. And even with all the changes coming up (and we all know how much I detest change), I can’t help but feel so rich and blessed by this life I’ve been given. I am so undeserving of it and I don’t take any of it granted. Grateful seems like such a small word to describe such a huge emotion...

An Explanation

Tuesday, April 06, 2010 31 Comments A+ a-

Some of you saw our hidden announcement yesterday. Here's the rest of the story.

There was nothing out of the ordinary. No sign, no symptom, no reason to suspect anything.

But as we relaxed that Saturday afternoon, just two days after I'd quit my job, I suddenly had a thought. "Hey Jon," I called to my husband. "When did we go to Arizona?"

He gave me a look, and then said the dates.

I did some quick math. "Hmmm. Uh, Babe?" I started to say.

"Yeah," he interrupted me, "you're late." On one hand, it irked a little that he was keeping better track of my cycles than I was, but on the other, at least he wasn't surprised.

I asked if we should go get a pregnancy test, but we decided to wait until we actually had a need to go into town. After a quick text message to some friends, I suddenly found myself driving a short distance away to pick up some extra pregnancy tests a friend no longer needed; she’d gotten her first positive a few months earlier.

On the way there, I did more calculations and went over any real or imagined symptoms. I was truly convinced that the stress of deciding to quit and then giving my notice at work was playing with my cycles.

I got back home and went straight to the bathroom, forgoing any need for first morning urine, and completely forgetting it was past the kids’ bedtimes. I just wanted a yes or no.

I stared with an intent eye on the windows of the test, and my heart skipped a beat when I saw the first line, faint at first, growing darker with each passing second. At first I hoped against hope that perhaps this test was different and the control line was first. (I've taken enough tests to know better, but that's what desperation does to a person.) But then the second line appeared and I took a deep breath. I had no choice but to acknowledge God in a moment that cut me at the knees. I had reality staring at me in the form of two blue lines.

I braced myself for the inevitable and went out to the garage to tell Jon that Baby #4 was on its way.

Pregnancy Q&A
  1. Was this planned?
    Many are not going to believe us, and that's ok. But no, absolutely not even remotely close to planned. You can imagine how foolish I feel with how I prefaced my quitting-work announcement with “no, we’re not pregnant”.

    Unlike our surprise with Reagan, where we knew we wanted a third and the timing was just earlier than planned, we weren't even sure if #4 was going to happen. Jon was adamantly done with three, and while I've always wanted four, I was looking forward to having 2010 as a pregnancy-free and breastfeeding-free year. I figured we could start discussing the idea of having a fourth after Reagan turned two.

  2. What was your reaction? And Jon's?
    My initial reaction was not complete shock like the first time, but more of resignation, and worry about Jon’s reaction.

    Once I told Jon and I started processing our new reality, I'll admit there was crying. Don't get me wrong, every baby is a huge blessing and we're thankful. However I'd just quit my job two days earlier, a 4th wasn't even being discussed, and now we have less income but another mouth to feed. You can imagine the stress.

    Jon reacted the way I thought he would. Thankfully he was already pretty certain that I was, so there was no big surprise. I got a hug, a long one. But again, as we started processing, more raw emotions came out. He was disappointed, but not upset. Thankfully I have a husband who believes in God's will, regardless of our own plans.

    We’re still processing but two things do stick out to us. One, we feel this is even a bigger confirmation that God wants me at home with our children. A big neon sign, if you will. Two, God is the Master of timing. I had every intention of quitting my job a week later than I did, but for whatever reason I felt strongly that I should quit that Thursday. And when we got our positive pregnancy test two days later, I knew why. Had I waited to quit, I know I would’ve been tempted to stay at work until this little one was born. But its time for me to be home with our children, enjoying these months with them before another little one joins our family. His timing is as perfect as ever.

  3. How far apart are Reagan and Baby #4 going to be?
    Reagan is the exact age Hudson was when we found out we were pregnant with her; I'm guessing she'll be 22-23 months old when this baby is born.

  4. When are you due?
    I am due at the very end of November! When I first told my mom and after she had calmed me down, she said, "Well, it looks like you'll start and end in November." And it’s true; Baby is due 10 days after Devyn's birthday.

    4 children in 6 years. Um yeah, this so wasn't in our plans.

  5. Will you find out the gender?
    This has not been decided yet, but we're both leaning towards no. We loved not finding out with Reagan, but it would be great to know so we can figure out room assignments, etc. I guess we’ll decide on this one later.

  6. Have you decided on any names?
    Many of you know that Jon and I love having names picked out before we're even pregnant. We love playing the "do you like this name?" game, but Jon wasn't even interested in doing that for fun once Reagan was born. You know, because we were done having kids and all.

    So even though we have plenty of time, I still feel like we’re behind and we’ve been frantically talking names. I’m pretty sure we have our girl name, but once again, we’re having issues with a boy name. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated, boy or girl; the only stipulation is that the name must end in “n”.

  7. Are you done now?
    YES! Totally, completely, 100% done! We are going to be pretty maxed out with four, and while some women can mother more beautifully, I am not one of those women. I grew up as one of four, I love even numbers, and this is absolutely it for us.

    We’re already talking sterilization options with my doctor. Jon feels strongly that since I’ll already be in the hospital that I should get my tubes tied, and truthfully, it makes sense to us. But we’ll see. I can promise you this, by the time we leave the hospital, one of us will no longer have working parts.

Easter Photos

Sunday, April 04, 2010 14 Comments A+ a-

Victorious Sunday!

Sunday, April 04, 2010 3 Comments A+ a-

Pretty In Pink

Friday, April 02, 2010 4 Comments A+ a-

Yesterday was boy power and today is girly pink. Just admiring my two lovely littles, and am thankful to have the privilege of being their mother.

Ignore the bruise on Devyn's head. A few days ago, she and Hudson were playing hockey when Hudson hit her bulls-eye, right on the forehead, with the puck.


I know.