Not the Answer I Expected

Tuesday, June 30, 2009 5 Comments A+ a-

We had THE appointment with the pediatric endocronologist this morning. To understand my state of mind, you should know that this was merely a formality. An expert opinion to reassure us that Hudson merely comes from small genes and we shouldn't be concerned.

I was very unprepared for his concern regarding Hudson's size. Very.

First the good news. The doctor is fairly certain it is not a hormone issue. He is still running the bloodwork to be sure, but he's not worried about it.

He is fairly certain that it's a calorie issue. Either Hudson is a) not consuming enough calories for his activity level or b) his body is not processing the calories he is eating.

At this point, the doctor is completing his panel of blood tests, including celiac disease; we are being referred to a GI specialist; and Hudson gets a high-fat bedtime snack every night. (Its a tough job, but someone has to do it.)

We should have bloodwork results in 2 weeks and we'll keep you posted. Thanks everyone!


The post that is NOT titled "Random Stuff"

Friday, June 26, 2009 3 Comments A+ a-

  • As I write this, my dad is home trying to pass two kidney stones. He is incredibly doped up! It's not funny, but it is. Poor guy! He's supposed to be leaving for a climbing trip here pretty soon; hope those kidney stones pass in time.
  • I hear that there's been a dry spell in Seattle lately; does anyone know if that's true? If so, we have plenty of rain/water down here in Colorado that we'd be happy to give back. This has been one of the craziest summers I've experienced.
  • Reagan is officially sitting up! And so darn proud of herself too. You can just see the sparkle in her eyes every time she joins Devyn and Hudson on the floor. She's happy to be a part of the "big" kids.
  • Quite frankly, I'm just sad at how fast her babyhood is moving past us.
  • My sister, Courtney, finally decided to join the blogging world. I knew it was just a matter of time before she caved! I'm still working on Christine and Allison. Who knows? Maybe someday they'll be listed on my blog roll.
  • Yes, I did design Courtney's blog too. I love doing it!
  • Devyn has become my little water baby, in other word's she is part fish! In this post, I excitedly showed off our newest addition to our summer activities. And now I can't get her out of the darn thing! Morning, noon, and night - if I'd let her.
  • The other day I glanced out of my bedroom window and saw her little bare bottom peeking at me from the pool. I had to bite my lip from laughing out loud and forced to come in and put on a swimsuit.
  • Hudson on the other hand is still as cautious as ever. He won't go in the water until I force him in, and only then will he stay to play.
  • Such a combination in my two eldest. Devyn, shy and timid as can be, yet is fearless and ready to try anything new. Hudson, on the other hand, is outgoing and friendly. A real flirt! But is so very cautious! He has to warm up to any new idea.
  • I'm excited to see Reagan's personality come out and wonder what little nuances we'll learn about her.
  • Why is it God uses complete strangers to remind us how very lucky and blessed we are? I met Tom this morning, he shuttled me back and forth from the dealership to my job today. A wonderfully nice man! I have a whole post brewing about our encounter today.
  • I am happy to report that we are not moving!
  • Oh, wait, didn't I mention that? Jon was debating a move that would take us to another part of the state. He was so serious, in fact, that he'd put some thought into the logistics of such a move. But in finding out it would cover one of the most dangerous mountain passes in Colorado, and that the cost of living was 40% more expensive, Jon decided that perhaps it wasn't a good idea at the moment.
  • I am deliriously happy!
  • I leave you with a recent picture of my littlest babe. Is she not just beautiful?!

A Must Read

Wednesday, June 24, 2009 0 Comments A+ a-

My cousin, Daniel, wrote an amazing piece regarding Monday night's storm. In my opinion, it is a must read.

I am posting this via email, so I'm not sure if the hyperlink will work. Just in case, here is the actual link.

I hope it speaks to you as much as it spoke to me.

Father's Day

Monday, June 22, 2009 6 Comments A+ a-

I made a scrapbook for Jon for his Father's Day gift. I'm sure its the first of many scrapbooks to come. (Yes, Tina, I'm thoroughly addicted to digital scrapbooking now.)

Taking Heart

Sunday, June 21, 2009 2 Comments A+ a-

Why me, Father? What made you look down upon this whole, wide earth and point at me? Why did you choose me to mother these three beautiful babes? Did you really feel I was up to the task? Because truth be told, I'm brought to my knees by the magnitude of this job. I am rendered speechless numerous times throughout the day by simple, everyday moments.

I was caught up in the story of Esther, I waited in anticipation as we delved into the history of the book. And out of the corner of my eye, I saw him. I looked up, a little annoyed at having my study time interrupted. It was nearly impossible to finish a quiet time when I had little ones awake and needing attention. Yet in spite of bleary eyes, he was joyful at seeing me. He ran to me and folded himself into my lap. There we sat, just him and I. I stroked his naked arm, his rosy cheeks. I tousled his hair and he burrowed deeper into my embrace. Then my darling son leaned up and kissed me full on the lips. Esther could wait.
Do you see Father? I never thought a simple kiss would shatter my heart so. Look, do you see? There it lies in a million pieces. It is humbling to be loved this much, to know that I am everything to that little man. This love, my love for him, is all-consuming. Help me. I want to be the best mother he deserves, but I don't know how.
She was fighting it again. The cries had swiftly turned into wails and no matter what position I put her in, or how I jiggled her, she did not want to go to sleep. She arched her back against me, desperate not to fall to asleep. And I, equally as desperate, that she would. I finally placed her at my breast, hoping that it would calm her down. I stared at her, playing with her fingers and staring into her blue eyes. There was the smile I so loved to see. And with each passing moment, her eyes grew heavier until they no longer stayed open. I kissed each eye and rested my cheek against her soft baby hair. I stayed that way until I, too, joined her in slumber.
We dedicated her today, Lord. Everything Pastor Jim said is true, Reagan is such a blessing and a gift. We promised today that we'd raise her in a household that speaks highly and often of you, that we would do all we could to bring her to a relationship someday with you. Our promises seem so inadequate in light of the task placed before us.
I packed popcorn and blankets, put on shoes, and ushered everyone into the van. Jon was spending his fifth night in a row working on his broken-down truck and I wanted to give him an evening of quiet. The local mall was playing Madagascar and we set our blankets on the lawn. As dusk fell over the courtyard, I was surrounded by little bodies. Devyn at the foot of me, snuggled under the blankets; Reagan beside me; and Hudson sat in my lap. Each time Devyn leaned over to whisper to me, I could smell the licorice on her breath. As Hudson snuggled in closer, I kissed his temple and instantly tasted the sting of insect repellent. And sweet Reagan was noisily sucking on her pacifier. It was a good night.
God, I don't think my heart has ever felt so full. All those sights, smells, and tastes are universally summer and childhood, and I'm experiencing it all again through them. I realize how lucky I am! Each of them is so different, having different temperaments, gifts, and needs. How am I supposed to know and meet them? Do you trust me with this task?
Rarely does a day go by that she did not humble me, my perceptive, sensitive one. And tonight was no exception. There she knelt, her hands folded across the bed, praying just like the girl in the book. She specifically asked to pray like that, instead of our usual cuddle time in bed. Without a word or prodding from me, her words flowed into prayer. I sat on her bed, looking down at my kneeling daughter, and I was overcome by her. I teared up when she told Jesus that she'd missed him and that she hoped he'd visit tonight. With a quick amen, she jumped back into bed and once again tried conning me into reading another book.
I fear, Lord, that Devyn has taught me more about faith than I have her. I'm not sure that's the way its supposed to be. I have no doubts that your hand is on her life, you show me over and over again in our daily interactions. I fear of doing her a disservice, of not knowing enough or teaching enough.
Beyond my doubts and fears, lies a grateful and awed heart. For somehow, in all your infinite wisdom and mercy, you pointed at me and said, "I choose you." In spite of all my human failures, you gave me three of the most beautiful babes and I am reminded to take heart in the every day moments. This time will fly by all too soon...

The Winners!

Saturday, June 20, 2009 2 Comments A+ a-

Ok, all, Miss Paige helped me draw the names for the CD giveaway this morning. Here are the five that won:

Colorado Dreamin'
Liz in the Mist
Katie - with no blog or profile, but wrote:
"Cool giveaway! I can't think of a specific time, but I know that at times, every day, I go through the motions of at least part of my faith. Sometimes the motions help bring me back to the truth, and sometimes they're hollow. At any rate - I'd love to get my hands on a copy!"

So, ladies, please email me at biggest_blessings (at) yahoo (dot) com with your address and I'll get these sent out to you.

Thanks for playing everyone! It was inspiring reading through the comments and knowing that we all have gone through some of those same times in our lives.

Modesty at 4 Years Old

Thursday, June 18, 2009 3 Comments A+ a-

Yesterday my mom, sisters, and I got into a conversation regarding modesty. It was a quick conversation, not lasting longer than 15-20 minutes. But nevertheless, little ears were listening.

When the kids and I pulled into the driveway yesterday afternoon, there was a car parked in front of our house, belonging to one of Jon’s coworkers, who had come to help work on Jon’s truck. As I was unloading the kids, I noticed that Devyn in particular was taking longer than usual and my patience was wearing thin. I coaxed, I prodded, I ordered; all to no avail to hurry Devyn along.

Then I noticed that Devyn was clutching her winter coat to her chest.

“Oh dear child,” I bemoaned, “There’s no need for that; its seventy degrees out here. You’ll roast!”

I watched as her eyes filled up with tears and in a shaky voice, Devyn replied, “But Mama. I don’t want him to see these.” Then she motioned in the vicinity of her chest.

And this mama finally understood.

So I grabbed a lighter hoody and placed it over her shoulders. I zipped it up per her request, covering the top of her sundress and any semblance, in her mind, of improper dress. As I did, I was humbled. That a little girl would be so perceptive to an earlier conversation regarding dress and purity is heartwarming. That a little girl would so desire to dress in a way that would be pleasing to her parents and God is mind-blowing. And I was completely awed.

While I am thankful for Devyn’s perceptive and willing spirit, I also want my little girl to remain a little girl. We had a conversation regarding this subject last night, after Jon’s coworker had left.

I was very clear that I did not want her to worry about these things until she was older. She is, after all, just a child. A child who has far lighter responsibilities than worrying if she’s showing too much skin. I told her that she and I would have a much deeper conversation regarding dress and modesty around the 11, 12, or 13th year. But until then, she need not worry.

But oh, I am a thankful Mama for a willing and gentle spirit in my Devyn Paige.


Just a reminder. There is still time to enter the giveaway for the Matthew West CD. You have until 10:00pm tomorrow (Friday, June 19th) to submit a comment on the post below. Do not feel obligated to leave any personal thoughts. Simply your name and a way to get in touch with you will suffice. The odds are very much in your favor at the moment!

CD Giveaway

Monday, June 15, 2009 18 Comments A+ a-

When I received the email from Sparrow Records wondering if I’d like to help promote Matthew West and his new CD, Something to Say, I jumped at the opportunity. The song, The Motions, has become such an anthem for me, particularly at this juncture in my life. I can’t tell you how often life has so overwhelmed me I was only able to continue putting one foot in front of the other. I went through the motions of life, doing just the minimum to help keep my head above water. So, it was only natural that it spill over into my spiritual walk.

I love an interview** Matthew West gave regarding his song, “The Motions”. In it he says, “I think one of the greatest challenges in actively living out a relationship with Christ on earth is to avoid the trap of simply going through the motions. I know what a Christian should say. I know how to act. I know how to put up a spiritual front.”

“That’s why I wrote this song. I was frustrated and tired of that constant settling for a stale faith. God is a God of passion. His true plan for our lives is anything but boring. Every day, the God of adventure beckons his sons and daughters to quit going through the motions and walk into a life filled with passion and wonder.”

This might hurt,
it’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change

I don’t care

if I break,
At least I’ll be feeling something

‘Cause “just ok” is not enough
to help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don’t wanna go through the motions,
I don’t wanna go one more day without
your all consuming passion inside of me.
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,

“What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?”

No regrets,

not this time
I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind

Let your Love

make me whole,
I think I’m finally feeling something

‘Cause “just ok” is not enough
to help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don’t wanna go through the motions,
I don’t wanna go one more day
without your all consuming passion inside of me.
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,

“What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?”

I’m excited and passionate about what plans God has for my life! My soul, my spirit, has been dry for far too long and I’m thrilled that my faith has been awakened. I want to know that I have given everything! Care to join me?!

Sparrow Records has sent me 5 Matthew West “Something to Say” CDs to give away. I can confidently say that he is fast becoming one of my favorite artists and I’m sure that you’ll love him too.

In order to enter the giveaway, you’ll need to leave a comment on this post by 10:00pm (MST) on Friday, June 19th. I’d love to hear about a time when you either felt like you, too, were going through the motions. Or when you decided to stop going through the motions, and you felt alive! However, you do not have to be so specific in your comment to enter. Simply let me know that you’d like to be entered in the giveaway, your name, and a way for me to get in contact with you if you should win.

I’ll announce the winners on Saturday!

** CCM Magazine, January 2009

How'd I get so lucky?!

Sunday, June 14, 2009 0 Comments A+ a-

Currently I'm sitting on the couch, holding a sleeping Reagan, HGTV is on the television, the kids are playing (nicely at the moment), Jon is napping, there's a cool breeze, and there's the hum of the dishwasher running in the background. I love moments like these, when I can sit and find blessings in the everyday stuff.

We've had a full weekend, including a bible study, a birthday party (Happy Birthday Miss Lyla!), dinner with Jon's aunt and uncle, and a trip to the zoo. It has been a great weekend, despite the frantic pace of it all.

And despite all the laughter, the conversation, the wine, and the memories that were created, its good to be back in the comfort of our home. There's a sense of rightness when I sink into the cushions on our couch.

Whether it be the craziness of running from one event to another, or simply listening to the sounds that make up my everday life, I am blessed!

Good to be Back!

Thursday, June 11, 2009 6 Comments A+ a-

I’ve been a little absent this week, and I can’t exactly pinpoint why.

I know that there was a situation online that has me kind of bugged out. I won’t go into too many details, as I don’t want to direct any kind of traffic here, but involved a blog and a baby that never was. While I, myself, doubted the sincerity of the blog from the beginning, and felt guilty for doing so, there were many people who had invested themselves emotionally and financially into her story. Personally I am just sad. Sad for the people who were sincere in offering up prayers, encouragement, and support; only to be duped. Sad for her, the author of the blog; it is apparent that she is a very sick girl and needs immediate help. And sad because it makes you realize just how tenuous the virtual world is. I’m usually not so concerned with having a blog, but this situation did make me pause. But I’m not going anywhere.

(And if you have no idea of what I’m referring to, and are burning with curiosity, please visit either MckMama or Angie. You can start there.)

I’ve also been busy, reflecting, growing, learning, etc. This summer is going to be a time of growth for me, I can feel it. Even before the Beth Moore conference in Wyoming last month, my family had plans to delve into her Esther study. The group consists of mostly female relatives, including one family friend who is considered family. And the age gap is so wide, from my 15-year-old cousin up to my 70+ grandmother; it will be great to get perspectives from the different ages and walks of life. The study is incredible! There is so much meat to dive into; I find that I have to restrain myself from delving further into the study now. Saturday mornings are something I look forward to all week.

But in leading up to the study, that conference spoke to me. If you read Beth Moore’s blog at all, you’ll know she touched on the conference subject briefly. And it was brief. There’s no way she could have given all the information she taught that weekend in a blog post. In reviewing Psalms 66, she gave detailed reasons why we train for this race called life. It was inspiring. It was convicting. It was exactly what I needed to get my butt in gear.

Four things spoke loud and clear to me that weekend. Lesson one, Beth was quite clear in asking of each of us, “Are you willing to train?” Never have I wanted to jump to my feet, pump my fist in the air, and shout, “YES!” as much as I did that weekend. And so, I’m training. Ever since that conference, I have been up between 5:45 and 6:00am. Without an alarm clock. Let me repeat that again, without an alarm clock! Me, the woman who adores sleep with every fiber of my being, is up with the sun and diving into my “training” first thing. (After I fix a cup of coffee first, that is. How else am I supposed to stay awake during the day?!)

Lesson #2. Beth shared a text message between herself and Mary Beth Chapman on the anniversary of Mary Beth’s daughter’s death. And the line she wanted to share with us was this, that despite the horrendous year they’d been through, despite the lows, the mourning, Mary Beth was able to say with absolute certainty, “It is all true!” God is God, no matter the circumstances, no matter the situation, no matter whether He gave you a yes or no to your request, it doesn’t change Who He Is and everything about Him is True. I don’t know why babies are sick; I don’t know why people are diagnosed with cancer or lose jobs; I don’t know why teenagers go into schools with guns. But He is unwavering, unchanging, and true, even in the midst of those circumstances.

Lesson #3. I have been in bondage to fear. I can write a whole post on this topic alone, so I will leave it for now and return to it another time. But I’m ready to move past it, I’m ready to leave that bondage behind and start living today.

Lesson #4. Titus. For her last segment during the conference, Beth asked that all women under the age of 30 (yes, I’m aware that in three months I can no longer join that group) on the floor, nearest to her. I thought my friend, M, was going to pee her pants, she was so excited to be that close to Beth. But what happened during that segment will stay with me. There was a whole auditorium of women behind us that are older, that are wiser, and that are more experienced. They’ve been running this race for a long time and they have stories, advice, and support to offer us! Beth commissioned them with Titus 2, in taking us younger women, the next generation of Christians, under their wing. If you’ve ever done a Beth Moore study, or been to one of her conferences, then you’ve heard her talk about the hair standing up on her arm when she feels God’s presence. Yeah. I have no doubt that God was there, in that auditorium, throughout the weekend, yes, but especially at that moment!

Do you remember when I talked of a revival? Well, it’s here, within my own spirit and body. I can’t seem to get enough of Him. When I wake up in the morning and contemplate going back to sleep, all I have to remember is that I get to go spend time with my Lord. I can feel the giddiness in my step and I’m in the kitchen pouring that cup of hazelnut coffee, snuggling in front of our fireplace, and digging in. (Of course, I’d prefer to take this time outside but we’re having some weird weather fronts right now and it won’t stop raining.)

It feels good to be back!


Saturday, June 06, 2009 4 Comments A+ a-

Someone went putt-putt golfing for the first time tonight.

He had an absolute blast! He refused to play from the beginning of the green, instead he spent most of his time putting the ball into the hole. Over. And over. And over again. Sometimes putting the ball into the cup five or six times on the same hole.

Many tears were shed when it was time to leave.

I think its safe to say that putt-putt was a huge success!

Rendered Speechless

Thursday, June 04, 2009 2 Comments A+ a-

Who allowed her to grow up?!

No Words Necessary

Thursday, June 04, 2009 4 Comments A+ a-

Whimsical Wednesday

Wednesday, June 03, 2009 0 Comments A+ a-

  • I am sincerely sorry if anyone has tried getting in touch with me this past week. We are officially in summer mode, which means busier than usual with weddings, wedding and baby showers, BBQs, family, friends, etc.

  • If you’ve left a message, I promise to call you back soon. (This means you, Dareth. I am not ignoring you, I swear!)

  • It doesn’t help that I’m working full-time this week. The person that I job-share with is on vacation this week and as such, I’ve been asked to fill in on the days she normally works.

  • I’ve forgotten how much it takes out of me to work full-time. I’m quite anxious to return to my normally scheduled part-time status next week.

  • I feel like I haven’t seen my kiddos all week. Devyn has been off to Vacation Bible School with her friend Addison (thanks Cassie!), Reagan went to another friend’s home (thanks Sara!), and Hudson hung out with Aunt Alli and Elliana.

  • Then tonight Jon and I are starting a Reb Bradley parenting study with other Christian couples at Sarah’s house. I’m cautiously optimistic that we’ll be given some new parenting tools, especially regarding our strong-willed son. I’m sure as with all parenting studies/theories/books, we’ll sift through everything to find something that works for us.

  • My house is also suffering from the effects of full-time work. I can’t tell you how far behind I am on laundry and house-cleaning in general.

  • Sigh.

  • I won’t be able to get anything done on Saturday morning because we are starting a new Beth Moore Esther study! I can’t wait! I got the study book in the mail yesterday and I couldn’t stop flipping through if. So excited!

  • Devyn is talking, talking, talking. I love it! And the more she talks, the more I realize how GOOD her spirit is. For example, Devyn assured Aunt Christine that she could leave Elliana with her and she’d watch over her cousin until Aunt Allison came back inside.

  • Hudson has adjusted well to his big-boy bed. He often goes to bed about 8:00pm, and now that we have a fan running throughout the night, he doesn’t wake until 7:30 or so. Amen!

  • I ‘m pretty sure that he is ready for potty-training; he runs up to me, grabs himself, and says “pee pee”. But before I can grab him, he’s off and running again. Truth be told, I don’t think I’m ready for potty training yet.

  • Reagan is going to turn six months old this month! Where has the time gone?! I find myself especially nostalgic as I watch each development, knowing that she is probably my last. She is loving tummy-time, rolls over, and is close to sitting up by herself.

  • Jon and I had a wonderful anniversary celebration and treated ourselves to a night out at The Melting Pot. We rarely so decadent, but it was so worth it! It was a memorable celebration.

A Grandpa Moment

Tuesday, June 02, 2009 2 Comments A+ a-

I had to "edit" the picture as best I could; the first one was so dark. I guess that's the downside of posting pictures from your phone. Not the best quality.

I love moments like these, when I catch a special memory in the making. Here's my dad, Hudson, and Reagan cuddling on the couch, watching a hockey game together. My children may never know how blessed they are to have their grandparents as a daily part of their lives. But my hope is someday they'll appreciate it as much as Jon appreciates his grandparents.