Monday, December 19, 2005 0 Comments A+ a-

A few ramblings...
Life just seems so crazy right now and I can barely string two coherent thoughts together, much less a whole blog. So I just thought I'd make a list of some rambling thoughts:
  • My poor, dear husband worked so much this weekend with the snowstorm that came through. I believe he put in about 34-35 hours of work in a 48-hour period. The overtime will be nice but I missed spending time with him over the weekend and I don't enjoy playing "single-mom" at all. However, he is a hard-working, dedicated man and I love and respect him for providing for our family. Thank you, Jon!
  • What is it about this season?! I, personally, love this time of year. I love spending time with family and friends; I love baking cookies and treats; I love getting ready for this magical time of year; and I love experiencing it through Devyn's eyes. But how do you explain the rest of the world and their attitudes? For example, I was driving along when a man stepped out in front of my car. I double-checked to make sure that I hadn't run through a cross-walk, stoplight, etc. but I hadn't. Thank goodness I stopped in time but the man decided to flip me off anyway. Did I mention he was wearing a Santa hat? Merry Christmas to you too, Buddy!
  • I managed to get all of our gifts wrapped and under the tree by Saturday night. I should have known that teaching Devyn to open gifts would come back to bite us. Sunday morning I came out of the bathroom to find two un-wrapped Christmas gifts. (Brock - I did my best to rewrap your present but...)
  • I think I've been bitten by the baby-bug. My sister, Christine, and I counted 8 family and friends expecting new bundles of joy in the next 9 months and about 3-4 friends who are actively "trying". I'm really not ready for another one but I can't help but dream. I'm wishing my family and friends who are expecting, healthy pregnancies and safe deliveries. And to my family and friends who are trying (you know who you are!), best of luck and have fun!
  • And last, but not least, I am so thankful for my husband and daughter. They make the rest of this world seem less crazy and make my life so complete. I love my time with them and I cherish them more than anything under the Christmas tree. Thank you, God, for bringing such wonderful blessings into my life!

Saturday, December 17, 2005 0 Comments A+ a-

Michael Lacy died this morning. I found out this morning from our mutual friend, Cassie, and my heart just sank. I stood in the shower and the word “why” just kept rolling around and around in my head. It’s moments like this that often have me searching for reasons or answers. All of the pat, Christian answers “It’s all part of God’s plan” or “This happened for a reason” just seem so trite and insufficient. We may never know the reason why God decided to take Michael; we may never know whose life he touched; and we may never know his reason for being here. But I do know this, Michael was loved by many and the Lacy family showed him God’s love and grace in a way that Michael’s birth parents were unable to do. I pray that Charla and Matt will be comforted by the fact that they did a wonderful thing by loving Michael and taking him in as their own. My heart is breaking for their loss and I'm sure theirs are breaking as well. But I hope they know that God is looking down saying, “Well done, good and faithful servants.”

Monday, December 12, 2005 0 Comments A+ a-

Dear Father,
I want to lift up the Lacy family to you today. I know that you hold baby Michael close to your heart and I know he is more precious to you than we could ever imagine. I trust in your plan for his life. But God, I am pleading with you from a mother's heart and with hope that this little boy will be healed. I pray that you will give the doctors wisdom in working on Michael. I pray that the Lacy family will feel your peace and your presence during these next few days. But most of all, God, I ask that Michael will feel the outpouring of love, hope, and prayer going out to him and for him. We place this baby into your hands and into your will.

Monday, December 12, 2005 2 Comments A+ a-

Let the fun begin!
Ok, I admit it. I've often wondered what my stay-at-home friends did all day. I mean, really, how hard can it be to keep the house cleaned, the laundry done, fresh baked foods on the table, and dinner prepared when dear-hubby walks in the house?!? (This is where I usually get a good, swift kick to rear-end from a well-intentioned friend.) But I take it back; I take it all back! Let me give you a glimpse into what our day was like yesterday...

11:34am - I set Devyn in the living room with her toys to play while I throw a load into the washer.
11:40am - Devyn has pulled herself up and taken all the magazines off the coffee table.
11:41am - Devyn is taken back to her toys and told to "stay there" while I clean up the mess.
11:44am - I turn around and she's playing with the DVD player and throwing DVDs on the floor. (Mental note to self, put DVDs away when done watching them!)
11:45am - Put Devyn back with her toys and throw away Pirates of the Caribbean due to scratches.
11:53am - Devyn is demanding some attention, so I sit on the floor and we read about three books.
12:05pm - Run to the laundry room and throw the load into the dryer.
12:07pm - Stare in shock as I come into the kitchen and see that Devyn has taken out all of the tupperware and thrown it on the floor. She looks at me with a smile.
12:09pm - Pick up the tupperware but am horrified that she is pulling paper plates, napkins, and miscellaneous items off the baker's rack.
12:11pm - Clean up Devyn's mess at the baker's rack and chase her to another cupboard filled with pots and pans.
12:12pm - Too late! My sauce pans and frying pans have been thrown all over the floor!
12:14pm - Throw my hands up in defeat and place Devyn on the counter to help me make lunch. (At last...she rests.)
12:45pm - After a good lunch, I place a sleepy Devyn on the couch and rush to put another load in the washer.
12:48pm - I hear Jon talking to Devyn, "What are you doing out here?" I rush into the kitchen, no Devyn. I rush into the living room (where I'd left her); no Devyn. Jon is calling my name from the mud room! Devyn had gotten herself all the way from the living room into the mud room and was playing with the dogs kennels when Jon walked in.

Whew! I will never doubt my friends again!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 1 Comments A+ a-

I think Devyn is turning into a bully...
When we first brought her home, our dogs were unsure of how they felt about her; Jackson and Grady really just wanted nothing to do with her. When she got a little older and could laugh at them and try to touch them, they started thinking that maybe she was all right. But it wasn’t until I saw Devyn feeding Jackson and Grady cheerios that I realized they had fallen in love. I smiled proudly at Devyn and thought to myself, "We must be doing something right to have a beautiful daughter and our gorgeous animals getting along so well". Right.

I was in the kitchen and I had left Devyn in the living room with Jon. She was enjoying herself, walking around the table and back again. I brought Jackson and Grady inside and they settled themselves on the floor in the living room. I was preparing dinner listening to both the sound of the news on TV and the happy babblings of Devyn. All of the sudden the babblings stopped and I looked over to see my baby girl looking down at Jackson, who was in her way. I watched as she stared uncertainly, unsure of what to do. Then, in horror, I watched as she brought her leg back and gave Jackson a swift kick to the side. (Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it didn’t hurt because Devyn is all of 17 pounds and Jackson weighs over 70, but it’s the principal.) Jackson quickly jumped up and moved to the other side the room. Grady was soon subjected to the same treatment when Devyn got to him. Oy vey!

Jon and I have repeatedly told Devyn to be gentle and nice to the doggies (usually she is) but she now has a new way of handling things when "the doggies" get in her way. Jackson and Grady have mixed emotions about Devyn; there’s a certain amount of fear in their eyes when Devyn walks into a room. Love mixed with fear is healthy... right?

Monday, December 05, 2005 1 Comments A+ a-

Yesterday, for whatever reason, Devyn was not in a good mood; she was ultra-sensitive and irritable. (I'm sure a good nap would have cured it but unfortunately its hard to sleep when Daddy, Uncle Caleb, and Grandpa Jim are screaming at the defeated Broncos!) Trust me, I don't wish for my daughter to be in those moods but they sure are good for cuddle days. It seems that only Mama would do for Devyn yesterday! All day long, she insisted on sitting in my lap, putting her tiny arm under mine, and laying her little head on my shoulder. Oh man! Talk about a heart growing 3 sizes bigger! What an incredible mommy-moment!

Devyn Paige bundled up for the Wellington Christmas Parade.

Friday, December 02, 2005 1 Comments A+ a-

Merry Christmas!!
We hope you all have a wonderful holiday season filled with safe travels and special memories with family and friends.

Special thanks to Bob Christensen, a family friend, for the wonderful photo!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005 1 Comments A+ a-

I just want some sleep...
I know that I was told “things will never be the same” during my pregnancy and I was prepared for sleepless nights, truly, I was! But who knew that my days of sleeping in were over for good?! I loved (past tense) not getting up until 10:00 in the morning but I now know, those days are gone for good.

It is 6:00am on a Saturday morning and I can hear Devyn crying from her nursery. I can hear her in my sleep! I’m getting to the point where a baby is crying in my dreams before Devyn even starts to cry. (What?!? Now I can’t even rest in my dreams?!?) But if I can grab her before her cries become full-fledged wails, maybe, just maybe, I can sneak in a few more minutes of sleep. I run to the nursery, hold her to my chest, dash back to bed, and am beneath the covers in two minutes flat. (Beat that, Terrell Owens! Maybe the Eagles could use me in their lineup!) While half-awake, I do my best to sooth Devyn to the point to where we can both get some shut-eye. It’s a no-go; she’s awake and she raring to go. (I could try to ignore her but somehow the kicks and constant chattering keep me from my goal of blissful sleep.) I drag us both out of bed, trying not to wake Jon, and head for the kitchen where she gets her milk and breakfast. I’m looking at her out of sleep-deprived eyes and wondering, why did I get myself into this?! But then she flashes me a toothy grin and I decide to forgive her. We head to the living room for playtime and I lie on the couch and give Devyn half-hearted attempts at some kind of interaction. But it’s before 7:00am and I’m just no good this early in the morning. Eventually, my system wakes up and before you know it, I’m on the floor playing with Devyn and her blocks when I notice Devyn rubbing her eyes. What?!? Where was this tired child an hour and a half ago?! I lay her down for her morning nap but of course, I’m up for the day and sleep is out of the question. I glare at our bedroom door and relish that tomorrow is daddy’s turn…

It is 6:00am on Sunday morning and I can tell Devyn is about to start crying; Jon gets a sharp elbow to the ribs. “Wauh, mprof frouew” comes from underneath the pillows and blankets; I can only guess this means “What do you want?” Sure enough, Devyn starts crying and Jon gets another sharp elbow to the ribs. He rolls over and pulls me close (yeah, as if that’s going to get him out of this) mumbling, “Ignore her; she’ll go back to sleep.” A long and exhausting 20 minutes later, Devyn is still going strong. I yank the blanket and Jon falls off the bed and to the ground. He finally gets the point and grabs our daughter. He, too, brings her to bed but he’s able to sleep through her kicking and chattering. Bad words are rolling around in my head as I watch my sleeping husband return to dreamland and I watch my chance at sleeping-in vanish into thin air.

It’s 7:00am and once again, I’m on the couch trying to rev up enough energy to play with Devyn. I just want some sleep, just a little more sleep…

Monday, November 21, 2005 0 Comments A+ a-

Opening Birthday Presents!

Monday, November 21, 2005 0 Comments A+ a-

Formal One-Year Photos
We went to Sears Portrait Studios and tried our best to get Devyn Paige to smile but with little success. She was such a serious, little girl the entire time. Of course, the minute we left the studio, she was all smiles again!

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

Saturday, November 19, 2005 0 Comments A+ a-

One year ago today, Devyn Paige came into our lives and has been the biggest blessing ever since. We love you, baby girl, and are so thankful that God placed you here with us! Happy Birthday!

Friday, November 18, 2005 0 Comments A+ a-

As I've been reflecting on Devyn's upcoming birthday, I've been thinking about all of the things I wish for her life and the following synoposis really touched a chord in me.

  • I'd really like for you to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches.
  • I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.
  • I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car. And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.
  • It will be good if, at least one time, you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.
  • I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
  • I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.
  • When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.
  • I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.
  • On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.
  • If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.
  • I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.
  • When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.
  • I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.
  • May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.
  • I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.
  • I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.
  • May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.
  • I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
  • These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.
Written by: Paul Harvey

Monday, November 14, 2005 1 Comments A+ a-

Some Fun Photos
Daddy and Devyn reading before bedtime.
Learning to traverse different types of ground...

Thursday, November 10, 2005 1 Comments A+ a-

"Coming To An End..."
I gently stroke her cheek; feel her weight in my arms; feel her soft breath on my skin; and lock my eyes with her baby blues. She sighes contentedly as she snuggles in closer and I smile as her eyes start to droop. I sit and soak in this moment as Devyn heads into dreamland. I can't believe these moments are coming to an end...

These past couple of weeks Devyn and I have started the process of weaning and all too soon we're down to only two breast-feedings a day. Such a sense of sadness, filled with poignancy, as I realize that this time with her is almost over. Nothing can explain the wonder as I watched her latch on for the first time; it was finally happening, something I had imagined since the moment I found out I was pregnant; I was getting to bond with my baby in a way only mothers can. At that time, I was planning to breast-feed for 12 months, that's it. "Anyone who breastfeeds their children longer than that is crazy," I thought. But now I understand; I now know why my mom continued until we were all 14 months old. Mommies will do anything to keep that connection a little longer. I'm not sure if I can do this; I've loved every moment of breast-feeding and I don't want to give it up! But I still have two more weeks; I'm going to cherish every moment I have left.

Shhh...child, back to sleep. Mama is here.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005 1 Comments A+ a-

Big New, Big News
Last night, Devyn walked for the first time!

Jon and I were playing with her in the nursery and Jon decided to help Devyn stand without support. In the past, whenever Miss Devyn stood, she'd try to take some steps but would always fall. Not last night! She took one step, and didn't fall; she took another step, and didn't fall; and then she took one final step before falling into my arms! Wow! We're so grateful that the first time happened when we were both home and we were able to witness it. I had no idea that watching milestones like this, could make a mommy's heart so proud.

Devyn Paige caught in the act!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005 1 Comments A+ a-

Yesterday we celebrated Devyn's first Halloween and had a blast. We've been carving pumpkins; visiting grandparents and aunts; received plenty of candy to last us (Mommy and Daddy) until Christmas; handed out candy to crazy kids in paint; and even went trick-or-treating with our friends, the Lewises. All in all, I would say it was a very successful Halloween.
Devyn Paige - Flower ChildDevyn "Flower Child" and Addison "Moo"
Carving Pumpkins with Daddy
Playing with our pumpkins!

Thursday, October 20, 2005 1 Comments A+ a-

Congratulations Jon!
Last month, Jon sent a letter asking for a transfer to another shop in Fort Collins from Wellington. This would allow Jon to gain some mountain experience and would give him the opportunity to learn some new skills and abilities. The Fort Collins shop is a highly desirable shop and many other CDOT employees wanted the opportunity to transfer as well.

On Tuesday, Jon went in for an interview with a few other CDOT employees. He was really nervous but felt the interview went really well. As confirmation of how well he did, he received a call last night and he got the transfer! He was told that he really impressed them, that he has a bright future at CDOT, and they (his superiors) are really looking forward to watching him grow! Jon starts his new position on November 1st and we're looking forward to sharing a commute.

Devyn and I are soooo proud of you, honey!

Saturday, October 15, 2005 1 Comments A+ a-

"Hanging out in the OK Corral"
We were checking out show homes with Grandma Becky today when we came across a corral-style bedroom. We put the cowboy hat on Devyn, placed her on the horse, and she had a ball!

Saturday, October 15, 2005 0 Comments A+ a-

"Annual Fishing Trip"
Every year Jon, his brother, Josh, and his dad, Dave, head up into the mountains in October for 3-day fishing trip. I don't understand how they can drag fishing into three days but I guess that's why they're the fishermen and why I choose to stay home with Devyn and a good book. Any way, this allows some wonderful time for manly bonding and Jon looks forward to these trips so much. They went last weekend and had a great time traveling from lake to lake. (Don't ask me which lakes they went to, I tend to tune out after they list the first two lakes.) But I thought I'd share the successes from their getaway!

Another Day Closer

Monday, October 03, 2005 5 Comments A+ a-

"Another day closer..."
Every day draws me closer to Devyn’s 1st birthday and a sense of loss fills me. I’ve tried explaining to my dear, sweet husband why I feel this way. And although he tries his best to understand (bless his heart), he just can’t. I fine myself drawing closer to my girlfriends who have been, or are currently, going through this. After all, it seems that only another mother’s heart can understand the tug-of-war going on inside.

On one hand, I love seeing Devyn grow and change in front of my eyes. I watch as she takes daring step, after daring step around the coffee table; I exclaim, in pride, over her accomplishment of turning around all by herself;
I laugh as she makes new sounds and tries mimicking our words or the barking dogs. I sit in wonder as I watch this beautiful girl, a girl that Jon and I created, explore this world. I can’t describe the feelings of happiness, pride, or love that overwhelms me.

But then I sit back and I think back to a year ago; when I was getting big with pregnancy and wishing and hoping for this baby to finally make her appearance in the world because I was done with being pregnant. Even though I loved the kicks, the dancing, and the constant trips to the bathroom; I just wanted her here in the flesh with us. And I remember the doctor placing her in my arms and thinking, how tiny she was! I loved how fragile and helpless she was; I loved that only I (or so it seemed) could answer her needs. So as I watch Devyn Paige get more independent and more daring, I can’t help but remember her baby days with a wistful sigh.