Today was a first…

Saturday, September 15, 2012 10 Comments A+ a-

Devyn started going to this school in 2009 as a preschooler.  And never once in those four years has she ever once mentioned a mean girl.  Devyn gets along with everybody, and I mean everybody.  When other mothers mentioned their children were having problems with the same girl at school, Devyn was completely oblivious to it all. She had no idea what I was talking about when I brought it up. 

So bells started ringing when she mentioned that a girl in her class was being mean to her.  Naturally my inner mama bear threatened to come to the surface, but I managed to calm her (the bear, not Devyn) down and walk Dev through the appropriate ways to handle the situation.  Talk to the teacher, talk to the student, etc.

But when a few days later, Devyn came home and mentioned that the same girl had shoved her in PE class… Oh hell no, some girl did not just touch my daughter! 

The ensuing conversation that took place between Jon, Devyn, and I was downright comical as I calmed Devyn, tried to pacify an upset Daddy (whose response was simply to push the girl back and harder), and rein in my own feelings.  And once Nana and Aunt Ney found out about it, oy vey.  It made our scene at home pale in comparison.  Unfortunately said scene sent Devyn running in tears, to the other room because, and I quote, “I don’t want to push her back.  I can’t do that!” (My sweet, sensitive Devyn.  I love you for it!)

Cooler heads prevailed and I scheduled a meeting with the teacher instead.

As I told the teacher, had the bullying stayed at the verbal level, I would’ve encouraged Devyn to continue talking to her teacher.  I definitely wouldn’t have requested a parent-teacher conference so early in the process, but physical touching of any kind is simply unacceptable.  And neither is avoiding the situation, which is Devyn’s coping method of choice right now.  That does neither child any favors; one learns to avoid unpleasant situations and the other learns that her behavior will allow her a pass in life.

I want Devyn to be equipped and empowered to handle these situations; to know that she is capable of standing up for herself.  And that her mama and daddy have her back, completely and whole-heartedly.  I am her advocate in these early years of learning what is, and what is not, acceptable.  And unwanted physical touching is absolutely not allowed.

Her teacher was amazing.  She listened, she brainstormed with me, we came up with a good game plan.  And I’m confident that this will be nipped in the bud sooner, rather than later.  It especially warmed my heart when she had Devyn come back in and included her in the discussion of everyone’s role in all of this.  And we both reiterated that the adults are a safe place, teacher or parent, she is safe to go to either one. 

I don’t think we’ll hear much from the classmate again once the teacher has said her piece.  At least I hope not, for the classmate’s sake.  I don’t think Mama Bear has anything on Daddy Bear, Nana Bear, and Auntie Bear.  Yikes.

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

10 comments

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3:47 AM delete

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Lacy
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6:38 AM delete

I feel for y'all. I'm so glad to hear her teacher is working with y'all on this. Hopefully this is the last incident with this girl. Devyn sounds like she has a sweet caring heart.

Oh and I would of been just like you and Jon. Don't touch my babies! :) I will pray for the other girl and Devyn..

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Jennifer
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7:25 AM delete

Yikes. So glad Devyn has so many adults supporting her!

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7:40 AM delete

I am so proud of Devyn for her response of not wanting to fight back! What a sweet girl. I hope this issue is resolved!

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Jody
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8:03 AM delete

Sorry to hear that Devyn had to deal with a bully. I hope that the bullying doesn't continue to happen.
Devyn is such a sweet girl and I hope that she doesn't have to encounter any more bullying this year.

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Sarah
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8:21 AM delete

I had to chuckle a little as I read this. Just this week, Chloe came home with an orange slip for pushing a couple boys who were saying some mean things to her. Now granted we forbid her from solving problems this way and told her that another orange slip home would equal consequences, but I think there might be a gender difference in how we react to these things. Also a child difference. Emma never has hit or shoved classmates to solve problems, but Chloe has always struggled with physically solving things, they are just different, sin looks different on each of them. I'm always worried that other parents might look down on me for some of the things Chloe does and am always refreshed by grace and understanding.

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10:19 AM delete

It sounds like she has a great teacher! Hope things calm down soon.

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Brigitte
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12:51 PM delete

Your husband's response sounds a whole lot like my husband :) if only we could protect our kids every moment from these little monsters. I also have my daughter in tae kwon do just in case I'm not there :)

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5:08 PM delete

oh no! poor Dev. mean girls are no fun, I'm glad she made it this far without dealing with one though and hopefully it will be a long while before she does again.

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Jillian
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11:26 AM delete

This is why I'm so nervous for Emerson to go to school!

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