The Summer of Grief

Friday, July 20, 2012 7 Comments A+ a-

sidebarquote3This summer will hereby be known as The Summer of Grief from here on out. A brutal summer.  In fact, I currently feel black and blue, emotions assaulted over and over again.  I can't make sense of any of it.

Its the summer our beloved mountains burned... the summer our grandmother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, after suffering from a stroke and heart attack... and most recently, a movie massacre taking place in a town just 45 minutes from us, a place numerous family and friends call home.  I almost added the word finally to that sentence, but my fear is that there is still six weeks of summer left and who knows where that'll take us.

Every time I feel like I've exhausted my supply of tears, a new event unfolds.  I cried watching flames come over ridges. I cried watching a neighborhood in Colorado Springs be destroyed. I cried at the news of Grandma's cancer, then again as I realized there's a new normal where she's concerned. And this morning I cried as the anchor shared a story of a husband and wife at one hospital, while their 7-year-old daughter was taken to another hospital. All victims of gunshot wounds, at the hands of a mad man.

Some of these situations have affected me directly, some indirectly.  I'm not sure it matters.  Feeling helpless as a fire rages through mountains and homes is no different than feeling helpless to stop cancer's growth.  A night at the movies turned nightmare feels no more senseless than knowing some in the community watched their homes burn on the newscasts.  A loss of innocence has been felt across the nation.  I'm not sure I'll ever feel completely safe stepping into a movie theater again. I know for sure that I'll be looking for exit signs the minute we sit down.

I am officially over this summer. It has given us a beating that no one should have to endure. Its horrifying to see such devastating news associated with this state of ours.  I honestly feel like a battle is being waged and though I'm sure we'll all come out stronger in the end, we need a break.  I'm ready for this summer of grief to end.

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

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Cari Leigh
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5:53 PM delete

Jenn,

It often seems that when it does rain, it pours. Maybe not even "seems", maybe that IS what happens.

I've been away from social media and now I come back and read about how these horrific events in your state have affected you and the sickness of your loved one. I'm so sorry.

Know that prayers are being sent from my home in NH for all of you.

Cari

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7:38 PM delete

Praying for your beautiful state today

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Christine
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10:08 PM delete

Well said Jenn. My heart feels completely heavy to say the least over this summer and all that Colorado (and our family) has endured. Hoping and praying that the worst is over.

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5:50 AM delete

My devotion the other day said no matter what trials we face (using Job is an example) that we can find peace knowing that God is in control.

Praying for your family and your state.

xo

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6:56 AM delete

I agree; I don't know how I'm ever going to look at a movie theater the same or when I'll be going back to one. And to have it hit so close to home must be even more devastating.

I honestly have no words for this situation. We shouldn't have to worry about these things, yet we do.

:-\

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12:30 PM delete

praying for you and your beautiful state! May the Lord bless you all and give you peace!

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Brittany TYD
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9:03 AM delete

This post has me in gossebumps. I know it was a week ago, but I'm praying for you guys. 2011 was a year full of grief for my family, so I know that a season of pain and heartache is absolutely draining, exhausting and full of tears. ugh

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