Sacred Marriage, Chapters 7 and 8
One characteristic holds the history of God and Israel together – perseverance. When Israel turned her back on God, God didn’t turn His back on Israel… I particularly relate to the four hundred years of silence between the Old and New Testaments. So often it isn’t that our marriages are either good or bad – they just are.
In fact, some experts suggest it takes from nine to fourteen years for a couple to truly “create and form its' being.”3 When I hear of couples who break up after just three or four years, I feel sad because they haven’t even begun to experience what being married is really like… it takes at least the span of a decade for the sense of intimacy to really display itself in the marriage relationship.
I really loved chapter 7 of this book, loved it!! And while chapter 8 had some good points, I felt it was a little redundant. Which begs to be said… the idea of perseverance is extremely important to marriage.
And as I read through this chapter, I couldn’t help but smile to myself. Because it was in these chapters that I saw Jon and myself, at this stage of our marriage.
We’re celebrating 10 years in May. 10 years of marriage. This past October we celebrated 14 years together. 14 years. I met Jon at the young age of 16, we started dating two years after that. In two years, Jon will have been a part of my life for over half of it.
That’s a long time. And yet, at times, it feels as though its always been this way. It feels… right.
Marriage has been described as a roller coaster, with its dips and climbs. Or even a landscape with hills and valleys. I can attest to the truth in both of them. We have been through the mundane, every-day-is-the-same-as-yesterday in our marriage. We have been through the don’t-talk-to-me-you-can’t-even-breathe-correctly moments in our marriage. We have been through valleys that have lasted years, only to be uplifted to a mountain top weeks or months later.
And right now… Oh, my goodness… Right now, we are reaping the rewards of a hill together. Heck, I think we jumped from the mountaintop into the clouds. It’s a time in marriage that we’re enjoying the butterflies, the secret looks, the bone-melting-stomach-jumping-kisses that are being stolen in the kitchen. I can honestly say that in the 14 years we’ve been together, this phase has only happened twice in our relationship. The beginning. And now. I never imagined I’d get to have that time back and I’m relishing every moment of it.
Because like clockwork, this season will end and a new one will begin. It may be a walk through the valley, or standing on the edge of a cliff. It might become boring where the landscape doesn’t change for miles. I don’t know what the future holds. But I do know that the good times sustain the bad times, and the bad times make you appreciate the good times. And on it goes.
Perseverance. One word. A whole lot of action.
3 Oliver, Conjugal Spirituality, 33.