The one that made me jump up and down

Wednesday, October 12, 2011 24 Comments A+ a-

When I got the email, Ashlynn was fast asleep on my chest and it took everything within me not to squeal out loud and wake her up.  So I slowly eased out from underneath her and got a few feet away before I started squealing and jumping up and down.  I tried calling Jon, there’s was no answer, so I called Christine instead.

“What’s wrong?” she asked as I tried explaining to her through gasps of air. 

“Christian… publisher… interested...” was all I managed and all she needed to hear.  We squealed and I promised to call her back once I’d caught my breath.

I ran upstairs to talk to Dad, I showed him the email, and he begged me not to get too excited.  Um, doesn’t he know its too late for that?!?!  And so I decided that I needed to call the one person who’d understand, who would get it, and who would be just as excited as I was.  Marianne.

As soon as she answered her phone in Utah and understood why I was calling, I could hear her joining me in the squeals, the laughter, the jumping up and down.  I laughed as I imagined her 8-month pregnant belly shaking from her excitement, I could hear the concern in her 2-year-old’s voice as he asked, “Mama? What’s wrong?”  And we got teary.  Because second to my mom, she has believed in me the most, she has encouraged and supported me, and on occasion, has even kicked my rear end when needed.  Its because of her I even started writing again.

I died as I waited for others to call me back… Jon, my sisters, and mom.  And I explained again and again.  I opened my email to find that a Christian publishing company is hoping I’ll consider them when I finish my book.  (As if I have so many other prospects knocking at my door.  Ha!)  And even if nothing ever comes of it, that email means more to me than I care to admit.

I’ve been thinking about it all afternoon, trying to process what this means, if it means anything at all.  I’ve been euphoric one minute and negative the next.  Its been a wild ride of emotions.  I got mad at myself for saying anything on Twitter at all, afraid of what others will think, and most importantly, afraid of failing.

My writing is one of the most vulnerable areas in my life, publishing those chapters was/is a terrifying step for me.  I am so insecure when it comes to my writing, so afraid of failing that I’d rather not even try.  In writing this book, I’m trying to prove something to myself.  I never imagined it going further than this blog.

And it still might not.  I don’t know what, if anything, will happen from that email or the emails since, but I know this…  My identity is not defined by either success or failure.  A book on the shelves of a bookstore, or the book on this blog, neither will define who I am.  And as long as I can keep that in mind (I’m repeating it to myself as I write this), I’m ok with sharing this with you.  I’m an open book, my life is an open book, and I’m happy to let you in on this turn of events.  Even if I fall flat on my face.

And now I’m just as terrified to hit publish on this post as I was the time I hit publish on Chapter 1.

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

24 comments

Write comments
Kim H.
AUTHOR
7:33 PM delete

WOO HOO! I'm SO excited for you! I hope to follow in these footsteps someday soon.

Reply
avatar
Neely
AUTHOR
7:43 PM delete

AMAZING!!!!!!

Reply
avatar
Dana Marie
AUTHOR
8:05 PM delete

WOOT WOOT! congratulations - that's amazing!!

Reply
avatar
Jenna
AUTHOR
8:16 PM delete

SO EXCITING!!!

Reply
avatar
Chelsi
AUTHOR
8:25 PM delete

Let yourself be excited, girl!!! There will be plenty of time for the ups & downs... this obviously excites you and is awesome so ENJOY it!!! Don't let the "what ifs" weigh you down just yet!

Reply
avatar
Ashley
AUTHOR
8:36 PM delete

Oh my goodness! So exciting! What a wonderful opportunity! Praying for you!

Reply
avatar
Kendra
AUTHOR
9:02 PM delete

Wow, Jenn! That is amazing! I'm so happy for you! Praying for God's guidance as you move forward! SO COOL!

Reply
avatar
Superchikk
AUTHOR
9:48 PM delete

I'm so excited for you! Chris has tried to get published, and I know that having someone interested in your writing is a BIG DEAL! I'll buy one when it hits the shelves!

Reply
avatar
Christine
AUTHOR
11:54 PM delete

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited for you! I love what Chelsi said. Just enjoy the moment and deal with the ups and downs later. If nothing ever comes of this, just the fact that a publisher contacted YOU is a huge deal. So exciting!

Reply
avatar
Jennifer
AUTHOR
3:21 AM delete

So excited for ya! When that books available, I'll definitely buy a copy! YAY!!!

Reply
avatar
5:21 AM delete

Jenn, this is such amazing news! Whether or not your writing ever becomes a published book, there are people all over the blogging world who love reading what you right on here every day! You have every right to be excited! Congratulations - someone being interested is always the first step! :)

Reply
avatar
Lauren
AUTHOR
6:37 AM delete

So awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Reply
avatar
Jessica
AUTHOR
6:49 AM delete

That is amazing news, Jenn! You are a fabulous & talented writer, and to have someone show interest is awesome! So proud of you!

Reply
avatar
Mary
AUTHOR
7:32 AM delete

Oh Jenn! That is amazing and awesome and wow and cool and YAY and wow again!!!!! Congratulations on being offered this chance! I have loved your novel and I'm sure it will be a success!

xxx Mary

Reply
avatar
Kelsey
AUTHOR
8:01 AM delete

Oh Jenn, that is so AWESOME!!

Reply
avatar
Cheryl E.
AUTHOR
8:05 AM delete

Congrats congrats congrats!!

Reply
avatar
Vicki
AUTHOR
8:30 AM delete

My tweet was right!!! I knew it!!! Congrats!!! That is so so so amazing!!!! :)

Reply
avatar
9:15 AM delete

Great news, Jen! How exciting!!!! I say squeal all you want!

Reply
avatar
Rebecca
AUTHOR
9:24 AM delete

So happy for you. what an incredible blessing to have a publisher contact you about your book. It really is a great story. I'm looking forward to reading more.

Reply
avatar
Jill Davis
AUTHOR
9:28 AM delete

That's soooo awesome Jen. You are such a great writer and I pray good things for you as you write your book.

Reply
avatar
Paula
AUTHOR
12:14 PM delete

YAHOOOIE!!! AWESOME!!!

Reply
avatar
Andi Mae
AUTHOR
6:50 PM delete

Oh, Jenn! What wonderful news! So happy + excited for you! And super proud!!
xo

P.S. Your new family pictures are absolutely BEAUTIFUL! I love them.

Reply
avatar
Momof4Girls
AUTHOR
10:59 PM delete

Jennifer Lynn!!!! =) I have ALWAYS told you that God has given you the gift of writing!! Whatever happens in the future of this book, the excitement of a publisher contacting YOU, not the other way around is just amazing!! Let it encourage you honey to finish the book and see where God takes it!! ! We are SOOO proud of you!! =)
Love, Mom and Dad

Reply
avatar