An Offer I Did Refuse

Friday, August 12, 2011 9 Comments A+ a-

When I quit my job of 10+ years, I was in quite a bit of shock.  Even now, almost 15 months after the fact, I can remember what an emotional day it was for me.  As hard as it was to leave, there was also no doubt in my mind that the right path had been chosen.

But 10 years is a long time to be with one employer, and some relationships have withstood the passing of time.  I’ve stopped by the old office on occasion, showing off Ashlynn, seeing how everyone is doing, catching everyone up with us, etc.  And while I love seeing everyone and there’s a bit of nostalgia when I step through the office doors, I still have nothing but peace about our decision.

However, two weeks ago I got the surprise of my life.

My former boss had contacted me about some web/blog design work for a personal event and I agreed to meet with her in person to discuss it.  So we hugged, and chatted, and caught up with each other and the office.  It was then that she asked if I’d be interested in working for them.

From home.  Letting me choose how many hours per week.  And at my own pace.

I sat there in stunned silence, a million thoughts running through my mind.  None landing in any one place for too long.  Until I was finally able to utter a coherent sentence.  “Let me talk about it with Jon and I’ll get back to you.” 

And talk we did.  And prayed.  And discussed.  And sought advice.

It was, after all, any stay-at-home-mom’s dream job.  Working from the comfort of home, choosing your own hours, and doing it all at your own pace.  I’d dreamed of being offered a position like this during the last few years at that job.  Something that would allow me to earn money, while at home with my Littles.  But I’d long since resigned myself to the idea that it simply wasn’t an option. 

I considered taking it, I really did.  I wondered how it would work, how I could make it fit into my schedule.  I debated with myself if I could logically find the time to fit in 10-15 hours a week.  I thought about asking if I could wait until Devyn and Hudson started school in a couple of weeks.  I was tempted by the idea of a steady paycheck again.

And then reality set in…

I’m already stretched too thin.  I’m barely treading water between being Mama and Wife, trying to stay on top of laundry and bleaching the bathroom… again (What? Hudson’s a boy. And kind of gross.), trying to schedule appointments and play dates, etc.  Not to mention, maintaining design deadlines.  I couldn’t possibly find the extra hours that they wanted.

More importantly, I enjoy watching God show up each month.  As I told Jon, I have been awed and humbled each time He’s provided extra work just when we needed it.  Some will think that we were crazy to turn down such a steady paycheck, but I love allowing God the opportunity to meet our needs.  And trust me, no one is more surprised than I that I feel that way now!  Losing my steady income last year has done nothing but increase our faith in God, and I’m all the more richer for it.

I gave my former boss our decision earlier this week.  And while I felt slightly sick to my stomach afterwards, I’ve had nothing but peace since.  It was the right decision for us. 

Even if it was a position that I’d once desired.

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

9 comments

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4:45 AM delete

I know that was a difficult decision for you, but I am glad you have peace about it! I had no doubt you'd make the right decision for you and your family!

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Timmarie
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9:21 AM delete

Beautiful post. Beautiful journey.

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Becky
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9:32 AM delete

Proud of you Jenn! (ps-yay! you blogged!) =)

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Mindy
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10:43 AM delete

My first reaction: You are CRAZY girl. But then I thought about whether or not I could handle the responsibility with just one child and laughed at myself. I admire your faith, Jenn. Thanks for being real and posting this! You are a blessing!

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Ashley
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8:38 PM delete

I'm so happy for you! I think sometimes God allows opportunities like that to come up so that you can refuse them and realize where you are and why He has put you in the place that He has. I'm sure it was difficult, but I am so glad that you have a peace about it! : )

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Amber
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2:01 PM delete

Good for you girl! I know it must've been a tough decision to make, but God will help provide for your family!

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Vicki
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7:10 PM delete

Although the offer was amazing - I'm glad you were able to make a decision that works for you ... sometimes the very things we once thought we wanted turn out to be not as desirable!! :)

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Amy...
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8:50 AM delete

I'm so proud of you and Jon...for letting God penetrate your hearts even to a point you couldn't imagine a few years ago. Love you!

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Christine
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10:51 AM delete

Good for you! I've recently made a difficult work decision to scale back and I also know it's the right one, regardless of the bit of guilt I feel for being able to let it go. You've come a long way, baby!! I remember back in the day when you angsted over that first choice. :) {{hugs}}

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