My Behind The Scenes

Tuesday, May 10, 2011 23 Comments A+ a-

One reason we struggle with insecurity: We’re comparing our behind-the-scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel.” Steven Furtick

I saw this quoted on Twitter today and wow, it resonated with me.  I often look around me and there are so many mommies and women that just seem to have their act together.  They have everything scheduled and organized, they know what’s due when and have meals planned out weeks in advance.  I look at them and feel like I missed that class somehow. 

Then there are times when I mention a grocery trip with the Littles, or days with picnics or swimming or snowball fights, and I’m told that I’m Super Mom or someone’s hero.  It makes me cringe inside because I feel like I’ve led them to believe that I have it all together, that I’m someone I’m not.  If only they knew the real stuff, my day-to-day, my behind the scenes.  So without further ado, my-behind-the-scenes for your enjoyment.  Or to at least make you feel better about your own mothering and/or housekeeping.

  • I’m great at washing/cleaning laundry.  It’s the folding and putting away that I struggle with.  On any given day, you will find 4-5 loads of clean clothes sitting on my laundry room floor.
  • Dinner is often a last-minute decision, where I then scramble to come up with something, anything.  And often rely on one of four fall-back meals.
  • My children are babysat by the TV more often than I care to admit.
  • The beds in the Littles’ room are rarely made, and if they are made, we’re probably having company over.
  • Timeouts can very well be a discipline tactic, but there are times I’m sure its more for their safety than discipline.  Those are the times I have to step away, take a few deep breaths, and calm myself.
  • Should you decide to stop by and say hi, you will more than likely find a half-dressed child with unkempt hair, two or more children squabbling, a crying baby, floors that beg to be vacuumed or swept (despite the fact that I’d already done it twice before that day), and a mama with dwindling patience.
  • I’m often asking for forgiveness after I’ve yelled at the Littles, or punished one for something that was done by another, for being grouchy, too hard, too impatient, too busy, too… whatever.
  • For every time that I praise Jon in public, there are three or four times I’ve nagged him into completing an item off my “honey do” list.  There are times I’m just plain mean to him, and vice versa.
  • The Littles have worn clothes for two days in a row.
  • Bills are often paid late.
  • I still have moments that I want to climb in my car, roll the windows down, crank the music, and just drive.  By myself. For hours.

I didn’t write this to be hard on myself, because there is plenty I do right too.  But I have a behind-the-scenes, just as you do, and I wanted you to get a glimpse of mine.  I think a little reality check now and then is good for the soul.

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

23 comments

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Beth
AUTHOR
12:02 PM delete

This is real. I can tell you that most of these seem normal to me. My mom had a "behind-the-scenes" as well, but it all turned out alright. It's good that we're a mess and KNOW that we're a mess - it gives God authority over us instead of us thinking we've got control.
Praying for you, friend. :)

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Mary
AUTHOR
12:10 PM delete

I SO re-tweeted that quote on Twitter as well today. I love the fact that we can post the cool, good stuff, but yet still be real enough to post the "i-didnt-get-it-right-today" stuff too.

Community.

Lovin' me some community. ;0)


xxx M.

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Whitney
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12:12 PM delete

I love this post. And I love you for being honest. I think everyone needs to do a post like this! :)

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Mindy
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12:14 PM delete

I've never been "accused" of having it all together...haha...but I think people would be really surprised to see just how not together I really am. Great post! Thanks for being honest!

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Katie
AUTHOR
12:23 PM delete

GREAT POST! I can identify with so much you wrote. No momma has it all together all the time and if they say they do, they are lying sacks of poo. :]

You are an awesome momma!

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Kat
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12:27 PM delete

I'm going to do one of these. My behind the scenes is a mess

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Angie
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12:39 PM delete

I love this post!

I love your honesty and I love the reality check. I don't usually care what other people think of me, but I do put some women (on twitter and blogs) high on a pedestal thinking they have it all down. I realize they prob only tweet/blog about the good stuff!

I guess we are all just the same in so many ways!

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Kelly Marie
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1:50 PM delete

That quote is SO true...people often forget that blogs are used mainly to communicate a good or positive experience so it may seem like someone has it off so much better than you. It makes it hard to remember that they have difficult days and struggles too!

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Jessica
AUTHOR
2:37 PM delete

LOVE this quote! Mind if I re-use it??!! I can totally relate to your post & I thank-you for being so honest & open. I may just have to do the same on my blog.

You are so right, a reality check every now & then is something we should all do.

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Amy...
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3:45 PM delete

Well...you know that your behind the scenes is pretty much mine...because you've seen it! But this is why I love you, because you are REAL. And I'm so glad that we are REAL friends. And that I am going to see you for REAL very soon:)

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Leah
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4:03 PM delete

I LOVE YOU. That is all. haha! It's so nice to know I'm not the only one who doesn't have it together all the time. I feel like I'm a failure mom some days.

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Neely
AUTHOR
4:45 PM delete

laundry....bleh

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Jody
AUTHOR
6:59 PM delete

I enjoyed your post because your behind-the-scenes is really similar to how my life is. I enjoy that you are so real in your posts that you don't try to mask your life. Hope that you are enjoying these nice and beautiful days with your kiddos!

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Kendra
AUTHOR
8:17 PM delete

this was a breath of fresh air! Good to know that I'm not the only one trying to keep it together (and not always doing a good job of it!)

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Britni
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8:34 PM delete

I LOVE this post and you!! Its so nice to know your not alone!

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Christine
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8:38 PM delete

I don't think I'm going to say anything that hasn't already been said, but I love this post and I love you. I think we all put too much pressure on ourselves to be the perfect mom and housewife. It's so comforting to know that nobody's perfect.

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Kodi
AUTHOR
8:41 PM delete

I love you. I love your honesty as well. I'm so with you. I also sometimes don't get dressed, or wear a bra, or take a shower...basically I'm gross. Oh, and I pay bills late too. Even if we had the money to pay them. I'm just lazy.

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Stacey
AUTHOR
7:12 AM delete

Um, your behind the scenes?? I could almost copy&paste it as my own. Except I would have to add a very unfortunate behind the scenes vice: cussing.
:(

I loved that quote from twitter the other day and it has had a real impact on me.

Need.to.stop.comparing.


Love you. In all your REALness, and grateful we are friends.

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3:18 PM delete

I don't know how I wasn't already following your blog, but I am now. This post is great. I feel like I'm pretty honest on my blog but I do get comments on how "put together" I seem and they make me laugh. I think we all have these areas, but honestly? these little things are what make us awesome people.

Good post girl.

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Christina
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10:10 AM delete

I love this post!

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11:29 AM delete

Great post and as someone just starting a blog, I too hope to keep things real.

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9:57 AM delete

Thank you for this! I think there are times when we are all hard on ourselves because everyone else seems to have it together. I still think you're Super Mom, though :)

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Fabiola
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6:56 AM delete

This is the first time I comment on your blog. This post is absolute brilliant. I think we all have our "behind the scenes". I agree with some of the ladies and we must be honest and admit: we are not Wonder Woman and it is OK not to be.

Thank you so much for this post.

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