I didn't know...

Wednesday, April 13, 2011 8 Comments A+ a-

...that the sight of Devyn in her Easter dress would bring a physical ache to my heart. She has grown inches in a matter of weeks and looks 10 years old, instead of 6.

...that giggles and twirls were a balm for my heart as I was assured she is still, in fact, a little girl.

...laying on the floor to color with Devyn would open the floodgates to her heart. The girl wouldn't stop talking. It made me happy.

...I'd be this excited to plan a mini-vacation to Steamboat Springs this summer. Hotel is being reserved, plans are being made, and the Little are getting excited.

...that it takes something as simple as a pool in a hotel to send the Littles into a frenzy.

...how much fun a web camera could be. Besides Skyping with Grammy, we've made numerous videos. Some of which will never be shared.

...adding Devyn's friend and my niece, Elliana, to my brood, would take that much out of me. It wasn't even the playing and preparing lunch, so much as loading them all up to take Devyn to school. That was exhausting.

...how much harder it would be to lose the baby weight after child #4. And its not even something I'm willing to tackle until after I'm done nursing. Ashlynn needs all the calories I can give her.

...a child could be as disobedient, stubborn, and entertaining (all at once) as Reagan. I often have to bite my cheek to keep from smiling or laughing at her willful disobedience. But her antics are so.stinking.cute.

...a boy could take anything, even a shovel, and turn it into a play gun. And those antics would rub off on a certain 2-year-old little sister.

...that watching 2- and 4-year-old siblings fighting bad guys together would warm my heart.

...a baby could survive as much love, affection, and attention as Ashlynn has had to endure. Nor did I know that said baby could express her displeasure at having people constantly in her space.

...God would speak to me under such unusual circumstances; that conviction would come at such an odd time.

...God is never ok with the status quo, that He keeps me in a constant state of work. I'm very uncomfortable right now as He and I work through some "stuff".

...how much I would enjoy this phase of my life. That as hard as it is, as I exhausted as I feel, as repetitive as sweeping the floor, folding laundry, making beds, and disciplining is, that I wouldn't trade this time for anything else.

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

8 comments

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Lauren
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2:01 PM delete

LOVE this!! :)

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Jessica
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2:38 PM delete

Love it! And your last 'what I didn't know' is so true. Being a SAHM is the toughest job I have ever had but I wouldn't trade it for the world!

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Rebecca
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2:42 PM delete

I can completely agree with the 4 yr old and guns statement and it rubbing off on the 2 yr old. I see it everyday. Can't wait to spend some time with you guys this summer.

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Paige
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3:02 PM delete

I absolutely love this post!

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Jillian
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7:43 PM delete

I love this post, it made me cry!! I don't want my girls to grow up no matter how hard or difficult this time is!! Being a mom is such an awesome blessing!!

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Kendra
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8:47 PM delete

Awesome insights, Jenn. Thanks for opening up your heart and sharing. Praying for you. Blessed to call you a friend.

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Christine
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5:11 PM delete

I love this post. And I love what you said about Reagan and biting your cheek to keep from smiling or laughing. Caleb and I have to do that all the time with Ellie.

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