The End of a Season

Wednesday, March 09, 2011 6 Comments A+ a-

I saw my first set of two pink lines on March 5, 2004.  Exactly 7 years and 5 days ago.  We’d been trying for a few months to get pregnant and I bounced on Jon about 6:00 in the morning, shoved the pregnancy test under his bleary eyes, and demanded to know if he saw the same faint two lines I did. 

In these past seven years, we’ve experienced three more positive tests.  Three more times to experience the heady rush of knowing life was growing inside me.  Three more reactions to tuck away into the memory bank of our marriage. 

Four pregnancies in seven years. 

Its been an incredible season in my life.  A season I never even knew I wanted, but now can’t imagine not experiencing.  It has been a beautiful season of carrying life, of feeling movements and hiccups and kicks.  A time in which my body allowed me the breathtaking experience of birthing four beautiful babes into the world.  It has been an incredible time of baby coos and contented sighs, of milky grins, and trusting eyes.

It has been one of the greatest privileges of my life.

Tomorrow we end this season of our life.  Ashlynn and I will accompany Jon to the doctor’s office where he’ll undergo surgery for his vasectomy.  His ability to father children is coming to an end, and we’re both ready for this.  Our family feels complete and finished.

It is the most conflicting of emotions and thoughts right now.  While I will always cherish these years that I carried my babes in my womb, I am also looking forward to the next stage of our marriage, our family.  And excited to see what God has in store for us.  As relieved as I am to not have to worry about birth control, I can’t believe I’ll never feel the rolling of a baby inside again.

I imagine I’ll mourn the end of this season at different times in the years to come, I know my womb will ache when I hold a newborn, but this is a new adventure.  And truth be told, I am far more excited than I am sad.  Let’s do this!

(And my family all grinned in relief.)

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

6 comments

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jenn
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7:18 AM delete

what a sweet post jenn :o)

i pray this next season is just as SWEET as the past season.

bless you friend.

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Christine
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7:23 AM delete

Oh, I sobbed the day of Jason's vasectomy. I didn't want him to get it, but my health required me to not have any more children. It is bittersweet, though, because I'm enjoying the stage of no diapers and spit up! I will pray for you to feel peace and for the procedure to be smooth!

Love to you, Jenn!

BTW, I love this new design. I think it's my favorite for you!!

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Courtney
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8:26 AM delete

No joke, as I was reading this I was planning on writing "I can breathe a sigh of relief now" and then started cracking up when I read your last line. =)
Keep us updated on the surgery!

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Sarah
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12:37 PM delete

excited for you my friend! Embracing what God has for us in each new season, full of gratitude for what was, is, and is to come:). Love you!

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Christine
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10:38 AM delete

I hope Jon is recovering okay. I'm sure it is hard to accept that this season is officially over, but like you said, you're family is complete. :)

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Anonymous
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11:20 PM delete

Courtney, you crack me up! I KNEW there would be a comment like that!! =) Hope that Jon recovering fine.
Love you,
Mom

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