To My Littles

Monday, February 07, 2011 7 Comments A+ a-

Dear Devyn, Hudson, Reagan, and Ashlynn,

Yesterday we had such a great day at Uncle Jeremy and Aunt Courtney’s house for the Super Bowl.  So much so that my phone battery died from all the pictures and videos I took on it trying to capture just how fun yesterday was.  I’m glad my phone died.  Instead of reading blogs or twitter on our way home, I spent it in prayer.  The entire ride was dedicated to praying over our family, over you, and it was exactly what I needed.

My dearest Devyn.  You, my child, have a heart of pure gold.  You are one of the most selfless people I’ve had the pleasure of knowing.  I pray for the right balance in parenting you constantly; that fine line between discipline and not breaking your gentle spirit.  I don’t always find it, often swinging between the two extremes of being too harsh or letting you get away with something you shouldn’t.  But somehow, in spite of me, you are developing into an amazing young girl.  I am forever thankful for your heart, your artistic tendencies, and the amazing job you do as big sister.

Hudson, oh my little man.  You have changed most of all in these past few months.  You’ve grown taller and leaner (if that were even possible), and you’ve developed into a boy.  I see in you a roughness, a wildness, that can only be contributed to “boy”.  You play just a little too rough, you’ve energy to spare, and you’ve finally figured out just how outnumbered you are in this family.  However, I see such a desire to help, to be considered one of the big kids, and I pray that we’ll cultivate that into the Godly young man we desire for your life.  I pray that you’ll pursue Him with the same passion that I see for sports and family.  You are a joy, my son!

Reagan, our little spitfire and Miss Sass-a-frass.  I wonder what the future holds for our relationship, for I see a strong will that will rival that of your Aunt Alli’s and it sometimes scares me.  You, my child, are a force to be reckoned with and we will never have to wonder what you’re thinking because it will be written all over your face.  I pray for wisdom and insight to mold that spirit into becoming a leader that stands for all things right, pure, and just.  And Miss Rea, with your strong will and sassy ways comes hours of entertainment because you, my child, are an absolute hoot!  I will never forget this Super Bowl, where you got DOWN to the Black Eyed Peas.  It was hysterical!

Ashlynn.  At this point in the parenting game, I pray for protection over you.  Protection from overeager siblings, and for your health and safety.  I am deeply in love with you, baby girl.  From the moment they laid you in my arms, my heart was lost to you.  My love was instantaneous and white-hot and I thank God every day for the gift of you.  While I’m curious about the person you are, the personality that was given to you and how I will parent you, I’m perfectly content to keep you as little as possible.  I’m soaking in these days of nursing, coos, and smiles.

My Littles, I pray constantly for the wisdom and insight to parent each of you, as a family and individuals.  I pray that we will grow the ties of siblinghood into strong, unbreakable bonds and I’m already trying to make it clear that you are each other’s best friends.  I pray it will see us through the tumultuous teenage years into adulthood where you will start to truly be thankful to have each other.  Yet I don’t want to miss out on the nuances and details that make you distinctly you.  I pray that we will be able to bring out your talents and help you strengthen them to their fullest potential.  I pray that your weaknesses will be brought to light so we can help you navigate around them.

Truth be told, my loves, I have no clue what I’m doing.  This mothering thing is hard work, harder that I ever thought it would be.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thrown my hands up in defeat, unsure of my next move or how to handle a situation.  And that, my Littles, is the reason I turn to Him.  Because on my own, I can’t do it.  I fail miserably.  But with His help, I’m able to find direction, patience, and fortitude.

You four are the most amazing gifts I’ve ever been given.  I sit in awe that God would allow me the honor of being your mother.  And it is a tremendous honor.

Mama

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

7 comments

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9:55 AM delete

1) I love this post. It touched my heart.

2) I think that Devyn and McKayla would be good friends.

3) I was probably like Miss Reagan. I can see my mama writing something like this about me.

4) Mama is so much better than Mom or Mommy (if ever given the opportunity, I definitely want to be a "Mama").

5) Your blog posts make me happy. :)

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Terri
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11:44 AM delete

My daughter calls me Mama and I love it. I think Ashley was a lot like Devyn, which is a pretty name!

I am so glad I found your blog. Such a good post.

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Christine
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1:18 PM delete

Beautiful post Jenn. Your kids are such a gift, and I love how unique each one is. As unique as they are, I love all of them greatly and equally. Again, love this post.

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Dareth
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5:19 PM delete

Jenn, I love this post!

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Kerbi
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7:21 PM delete

How sweet! You are such an amazing mother!

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Becky
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8:21 AM delete

Love it! You're a great mom, Jenn!

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Anonymous
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10:08 PM delete

Oh my Jenn....this post has brought tears to my eyes. Now that you are a mom, you can understand my tears for you in reading this post. Tears of how did my daughter become a mom?? Tears of pride for the mom you ARE to your kids....tears of awe for the true gift of writing you have to share your soul and your prayers of motherhood to others. Thank you for this post, honey. I pray these prayers also...for you as a mom, for you as a daughter. I will forever have you and your family in my prayers as God continues to work in your life....
I love you so,
Mom

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