A Sunday Funny

Sunday, November 21, 2010 4 Comments A+ a-

Top 10 Signs You’ve Been Pregnant Too Long
  1. At your doctor's office, they're talking about inducing you. But it was the janitor in the elevator who suggested it first after taking one look at you.
  2. You won't be held accountable if you happen to punch the next person who says to you, "You don't look comfy," or "Are you sure it's not triplets?"
  3. Family and friends who were once interested and excited in your upcoming birth are bored with you.
  4. Even your husband is no longer interested in helping you out with that #1 method of getting labor going ....
  5. Braxton-Hicks contractions no longer phase you, and you wonder in the back of your mind if you'll glaze over real-labor contractions too and be surprised when the baby arrives while you're eating breakfast one morning.
  6. You are considering charging your baby rent. You could take it out of his or her future allowance.
  7. When you hear a friend's neighbor had her baby two weeks early, you scoff, "Showoff! Overachiever!"
  8. When people politely ask how you're doing, you tell them you feel you're going to burst -- and they believe you and take five steps backward.
  9. Everyone answers a call from you with “Are you in labor yet?”
  10. Your toddler son gets confused when you show him a real baby -- and it's not in your belly.

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

4 comments

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Courtney
AUTHOR
1:52 PM delete

This cracked me up. So true and I'm sorry. I'll stop asking if you're in labor every time you call. Can you please tell her to hurry the heck up though?!

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Christine
AUTHOR
1:59 PM delete

This made me laugh. And then I thought about all you've been through and I thought you might be laughing and crying at the same time. :) Hurry up Ashlynn, come out already!

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Dareth
AUTHOR
6:27 PM delete

Your list made me laugh. But I know this is no laughing matter!

#4 & 5 made me laugh aloud.

Praying for you my dear friend!

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Amy Silver
AUTHOR
7:51 AM delete

Oh my gosh, this is so funny! Ok and I gotta say, that "#1 thing", there was NO WAY I was letting that happen, haha, I was WAAAYY too uncomfortable, but that was just me. Glad to hear you are keeping your sense of humor, her birthdate is already picked out, and there's nothing we can do about it. Someone told me that when I was frustrated with pregnancy and it kinda made me peaceful but also really mad at the same time, haha.

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