Fibromyalgia, Part I

Friday, October 01, 2010 4 Comments A+ a-

In talking with friends last week, I casually mentioned that I had fibromyalgia. My friends were surprised to hear that I had the disease, probably because I rarely talk about it. In fact, after doing a search through my blog history, I only mention fibromyalgia one time… one time in almost five years. I think it’s time I remedied that.

It started when I was 16 years old; I was a sophomore in high school. In between classes, my friends and I met in the common area of our school to visit, talk about boys, and make our lunch plans. It was the second or third time that my leg gave way as I walked to our spot that I realized this wasn’t normal and something might be wrong. Every time after my leg gave away, it would shake from the exertion and my hip would ache for hours afterwards.

I finally mentioned it to Mom and away we went to the doctor. Dr. Deborah asked the appropriate questions, decided to run some blood work, and told me to start tracking when it happened, how often, and other details I thought might be important to share. I was both surprised and disappointed when all my blood work came back normal. I was simply hoping for an easy answer and an easy fix. Since nothing showed up, the doctor could do nothing.

A few months went by without another fall and I completely forgot about it all. Then suddenly, right there in the hallway, I had to grab onto the wall to hold myself after my leg gave away. I remember heading home and tearily told Mom that it had happened again. This time Dr. Deborah ordered a number of different scans and x-rays. There was one word that stuck out in my mind and both the doctor and Mom affirmed that they feared cancer.

The day of the bone scan dawned early and an IV was to be started to insert the needed dye into my veins. The first nurse attempting the IV took six tries, all were unsuccessful, thus my intense fear of needles began that day. The second nurse got it on her first try and I remember weeping with gratitude. My grandpa had flown in from Arizona to sit with my mom during the scan, further proof in my 16-year-old mind that this was serious. We sat in the waiting room together and waited for my name to be called.

I don’t remember what how long the scan actually took; I only remember how nerve racking it was to lay still as the silver tube scanned my lower body. The places my mind went… the various scenarios that played out during that time… all led to a very intense experience. (Those are the times my overactive imagination can be a very bad thing.) You can also imagine our frustration when the radiologist refused to share the results, saying only that he had to talk to my doctor first.

And again, there was disappointment and discouragement when everything came back normal. It wasn’t so much that I wanted something to be wrong or that I was looking for attention; I simply wanted answers for my pain. I hated feeling like others thought I was making it up.  I just wanted to point to something, anything, and say, “See, I’m not crazy.” But since nothing was showing up in the sea of tests, I resigned myself to living with the pain and having no answers.

…to be continued…

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

4 comments

Write comments
Kamma
AUTHOR
12:43 AM delete

Man, i remember this time so clearly... Crazy and scary...

Reply
avatar
Molly
AUTHOR
1:11 PM delete

I know EXACTLY what you are talking about! I am sixteen and was diagnosed with Fibro two years ago. I know how all those tests felt...isn't it scary? While I'm glad it isn't something more serious, it is still hard to live with so much pain. Especially since people think I am such a wimp. God bless!

Reply
avatar
JD
AUTHOR
4:34 AM delete

I hope that you will continue your story. I have physical issues that don't really have a firm diagnosis. FM has been mentioned but the doc doesn't really want to go there. I'd like to hear more of your story to see how it fits with my issue.

JD
www.fingerprintsfromhishand.webs.com
www.sweettea-n-ice.blogspot.com

PS-I found your site by linking from someone else's site who is a part of the Gratitude Community@www.aholyexperience.com . :)

Reply
avatar
8:34 AM delete

Jenn -- Can't wait to hear more of your story as the years of the unknown for your family were so hard. FM is finally a diagnosis that is more common and acceptable as it really is a condition!! I sell a Pfizer drug for Fibro and it saddens me to hear the pain so many families go through until treatment is successful.

Reply
avatar