A Not-So-Quick Update

Tuesday, April 13, 2010 9 Comments A+ a-

I am tired. Busy. Overwhelmed.

I hesitate to write when I’m at this point because, truly, who wants go somewhere and read the negative. But as always, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t share the bad along with the good.

This week is not a good week to ask me how I’m doing because I can’t help but question God’s wisdom in thinking I can handle all this, plus the exhaustion and nausea of the 1st trimester. These are the moments when I question God’s sanity in thinking I can handle four children. Doesn’t He see I can barely hold it together with just three?

It could be that Jon’s gone all week for training in Denver, and where I’d normally just pack up the kids and head down to my parents house for the week, I can’t do that now because of our dog, Gracie. So while I’m in the midst of holding down meals and snacks, and sneaking in naps whenever the kids are napping, I’m also refereeing fights, laying down the law, and trying to keep some kind of order around here. Of course, since I’m so NOT good at laying down the law, it would explain why both Hudson and Devyn were in our bed last night, NOT sleeping, at 11:00pm. Go me!

It could be that I’ve been taken off the anti-depressants cold-turkey since finding out I was pregnant. And this time around, its hard! It could be any combination of things. The stress of being a single-parent this week, the fast approaching last day of my job, or maybe its the fact that I was on a higher dose of medication this time around. Who knows? But I do know that some decisions are going to have to be made about whether or not to get back on the medication. I realize that the 1st trimester is so critical to development and growth of the baby, but I’m not sure losing my mind in the process is a good idea.

In other, not so depressing, news, my children do keep me laughing. Hudson is now insisting that we say, “God bless baseball” at prayer times and now wants me to make pitching signals when we’re playing catch. Devyn loves the Easter peeps she got from her Grammie, but the best part is when she keeps referring to them as “mushrooms”. No matter how many times I tell her they’re marshmallows, she still calls them mushrooms. And Reagan has found a new way to annoy her siblings to death. She picks up the remote, points it at the TV, and starts pushing random buttons. The ensuing cries of “Reagan!” just make her smile wider. I swear that girl knows EXACTLY what she’s doing.

Ok, there you have it. A not-so-quick update on the goings-on around here and some random facts about my three kids. I’ll tell you this much, my life is never going to be boring with them around and that is what keeps me sane. (For the moment.)

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

9 comments

Write comments
Amanda
AUTHOR
12:26 PM delete

Uff-dah. I wish I could stop by and babysit for a few hours!

Reply
avatar
1:08 PM delete

Oh, Jenn. I've been stopping by regularly as always, with no time to comment, but this post made me think of a verse - I Corinthians 10:13. And although Paul is speaking of temptation when he says that the Lord will never give you more than you can handle, this verse is so comforting to me when I feel the way you do- which is often! :)

Just as with Reagan, He took the control (of deciding to get/not get pregnant) completely out of your hands, and so now you are feeling like He *did* this to you... but if you had planned this pregnancy, you would be resisting those thoughts, saying, "This was my choice, I wanted another, so I just need to shoosh!" (Because I thought this with #4! And then I remembered that even though *I* planned it, He was still completely and utterly in control.)

Since He's given this child, this gift to you, He will (He promises!) not let it take you down. He will not let you go under, He will not let you wear that yoke alone- there's a reason most yokes fit *two* oxen! Let Him pull with you, ask for help, circle your little ones around you and remember that the condition of your home is not the condition of your soul...

And as the wise Elisabeth Elliot says, when those moments come and you are completely overwhelmed and exhausted... Just do the next thing.

I am praying for you, sweet friend! xo

Reply
avatar
Courtney
AUTHOR
1:39 PM delete

Reagan cracks me up.

Reply
avatar
3:05 PM delete

cleaning the bathtub and praying for you, and hoping that my last comment came across with the heartfelt intention behind it... was just thinking how different things feel when we think *we* have planned it compared to when He takes it out of our hands...

just want you to know that I love you, and I understand, and I just wanted to encourage you and help give perspective!

hope that is what came across... the typed word cannot possibly express the heart and love behind those little black letters... xo

Reply
avatar
Neely
AUTHOR
3:30 PM delete

Oh dear Jenn! I hope things start looking better!!! At least the kiddos make you laugh :)

Reply
avatar
Anonymous
AUTHOR
10:13 PM delete

Jenn,
I LOVED the advice from Elise in the comments. She has lots of wisdom in those words. She is right honey--put your concerns and fears to Him, let the yoke be shared between the two of you. We have talked about this, honey, God IS in control. It is leaning into Him in the things of life that overwhelm or surprise us. One day at a time, honey, one day at a time....
I love you,
Mom

Reply
avatar
Christine
AUTHOR
10:43 PM delete

Praying for you. "I (you) can do all things through Christ who gives me (you) strength".
In the mean time, "God bless baseball". Ha! You're kiddos are too funny.

Reply
avatar
Joyfulness
AUTHOR
8:26 AM delete

Kids - they make us laugh and pull out our hair at the same time. It's quite an adventure.

I'm not good at laying down the law either and their behavior really does change when Daddy isn't around. That so bugs me, but it is what it is.

You CAN do it. Not perfectly - none of us can do that - but you can do it!

Reply
avatar
Neely
AUTHOR
10:00 AM delete

I left you something at my blog!

Reply
avatar