The Cat's Out

Thursday, April 08, 2010 9 Comments A+ a-

Well, now that the cat’s out of the bag, here are some random thoughts during these past 12 days.
  • Devyn absolutely cannot be trusted with a secret, and I place full blame for this on Nana. I can’t tell you how many times she’s blurted out, "Mommy’s having another baby. She doesn’t want to tell anyone, but Nana and I are going to tell everyone!" to anyone within hearing distance. Thanks Mom! Hence, the reason its coming out much sooner than I intended.

  • The nausea has kicked in. It doesn’t matter if my stomach is empty or full, nothing seems to help. And while I’m not a fan of it, there’s a bittersweet feeling to it all. I seem to be taking it all in and trying to enjoy every moment of this last pregnancy. I want to remember this, even my least favorite moments.

  • Everyone keeps asking how I’m feeling and thankfully, I feel pregnant. I am emotional to the nth degree, crying at everything and anything. I hit walls of exhaustion where I cannot keep my eyes open a moment longer. And the nausea. But all of this just means that the hormones are working as they should, and that is reassuring.

  • The most common reaction we’re getting when we tell people is laughter, the deep, rolling laughter of one who is in disbelief. And looks of astonishment. Yes, I’m aware that three is already a large number of children by today’s standards. And yes, I can’t believe we’re having another one either. But so help me, if I get compared to Mrs. Duggar one more time, I won’t be responsible for my actions.

  • I’m looking at three weeks left of work and I have so many mixed emotions. I’m ecstatic about being home and getting to set new routines and new expectations of myself and our children. I just can’t imagine where I’ll start and the possibilities seem endless. On the other hand, I’m leaving behind a place I’ve known for over 10 years. They have been good to me through the years and I find myself getting incredibly weepy at the thought of leaving. It could be the hormones, but I’m surprised at how sentimental I am.

  • Since I’m reflecting so much on being home, the loss of my income, and the addition of another mouth, I’ve been reflecting on this scripture a lot right now. "... give me neither poverty, nor riches! Give me just enough to satisfy my needs. For if I grow rich, I may deny you and say, "Who is the Lord?" And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name." Proverbs 30:8-9. I feel a whole post developing about this scripture, I just love it!

  • Another post simmering in this head of mine is regarding the questions I’d hoped to ask myself before we started talking about the idea of #4. Expectations that I have of myself as a mother, wife, and a woman; all that I hope for my children and my role in helping them achieve their potential and their dreams; and whether or not I’ll have the time and energy to achieve those expectations. They’re hard questions, and ones I’m working through.

  • And to that end, Devyn and I had a much-needed mother-daughter date the other night. We went through the Taco John’s drive-thru, ordered some churros, and parked the car, where Devyn scrambled up into the passenger seat. As we sat munching on that cinnamon-sugary goodness, we just talked and talked; I got to hear about school and her thoughts on her classmates and teachers. We talked about becoming a big sister again, and her love of the Bullfrogs & Butterflies praise CD. It was wonderful to spend that one-on-one time with her and catch a small glimpse into what the future might hold for our relationship. I’m realizing more than ever how intentional I’m going to have to be to maintain a close relationship with all four of my children. (Did I really just type out four?! Really?!)

  • We have a busy weekend coming up. We’re finishing up Week 10 of Beth Moore’s Daniel study; it has been amazing! And where I was once terrified to learn about end-time events, I now find myself comforted by the knowledge we’ve gleaned from this study. So much so, that I think we might be doing her Revelation study next. There’s also a birthday party and a girls dinner out for this Mama. No, Babe, I haven’t forgotten all the housework we must get caught up on!

It will be a busy and full weekend ahead. And even with all the changes coming up (and we all know how much I detest change), I can’t help but feel so rich and blessed by this life I’ve been given. I am so undeserving of it and I don’t take any of it granted. Grateful seems like such a small word to describe such a huge emotion...

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

9 comments

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Joyfulness
AUTHOR
6:11 AM delete

That's really cute that she couldn't keep her mouth shut. So sweet. I love to look at life through children's eyes.
Bugs me too when people look at my 4 and start talking about so-and-so with 8, 10, or more children. Weird what conceptions people have of large families, not that I particularly think that 4 is so large!

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Timmarie
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9:09 AM delete

This post could be my turning point for #3. I'm just sayin...

P.S. You are not even CLOSE to the Duggars. Your not even close to the Gosselins.

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Sonja
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1:39 PM delete

Don't you let people get to you about that many kids! I think it's a blessing! (I know you do too :)) and God planned it this way for a reason!

I'm so happy for you!! I only wish I could convince my husband for 4! ;) haha

Hope things start getting better for you and that you get rid of the nausea FAST! :)

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Wendy
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5:52 PM delete

Have you ever kept a pregnancy journal? Just jotting down somethings you want to remember. It's fun to look back later, and my kids love reading things the funny things I wanted to eat, etc. :)

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1:55 AM delete

Congrats on number 4! I love that scripture.. I think I needed it right now :)

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Katie
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8:26 AM delete

Oh Jenn, I hear ya! I have heard so many times, "4! You must be crazy in the head! You are really going to have your hands full!" Ugh! I just started saying, I already have my hands full, and I feel so blessed by it! I am so excited for you and your family. I am glad you are feeling sick, but I hope it's over for you soon. Please let me know if you need anything! I would love to bring you a meal!!

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Christine
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10:55 PM delete

I can't believe Devyn is old enough to be having dates like that with you. She sounds so mature sitting up front and having long conversations with you. Where has the time gone?
I LOVE that scripture too, it definitely puts things into perspective.

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Amber L.
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4:04 PM delete

Congrats on your news guys! Can't wait to see what another little Glover will look like. Hope the nausea goes away soon.

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Anonymous
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10:07 PM delete

Jenn, I LOVED your post!! =) However, I did NOT say I would tell everyone!! =) I was waiting for you first to tell people! I promise!! =) The scripture you quoted has brought me through many years of tight finances being home with you girls. God WILL provide, Jenn! He promises to! It will be a new step in faith for you and Jon!! =)
Love, Mom (Nana)

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