I just did what?!

Friday, March 26, 2010 16 Comments A+ a-

At the beginning of January, I had a chat with God; it was actually more of a petition than a discussion.

Since the day my oldest was born, over five years ago, I have desired to be a full-time stay-at-home-mom. The desire ran so deep that with each breath I took it became a physical heartache. But circumstances being what they were, we couldn’t afford it. Poor financial decisions early in our marriage lent to our inability of finding a way for me to be home with our children. And thankfully, we were blessed in having our children being watched by my sister and mom. So while I wasn’t able to be with them day-in and day-out, it was a comfort to know that they were with those who loved them as much as I did, instilling the same values that I would have.

And then last year, I was blessed with the ability to start working part-time. It was heavenly to have two and a half days with my precious Littles. Yet the other two and a half days that I still had to work, there was still the ache. Granted it was lessened considerably as I relished the extra time at home, but it was there nevertheless. And as I spent more time away from the office, my dedication to the job waned. I had taken a voluntary demotion to work part-time, and truth be told, I was now bored. I no longer felt challenged by the work I was doing. But it was still a job, a means to an end.

In January, I started asking God for the opportunity to be home full-time. I even went as far as to give Him a timeline. "Father," I prayed. "You know my heart’s desire, you know I long to be home with the children on a full-time basis. I know you can do anything and my prayer is that by the end of 2010, I’ll be home permanently." This is one of the biggest requests I have ever laid at my Father’s feet. And I was fully aware of all the impossibilities that had to be bridged to make it work. Most of all, a change of my husband’s heart who was quite comfortable with our current situation, and opposed to the idea of any kind of loss of income. Truth be told, it was a huge fear of mine as well, but still I prayed.

Imagine my shock, and delight, as I watched circumstances change before my eyes. It was as though I was watching a chess match, God moving people and situations in such ways that it was evident where God was directing our path. As opposed as Jon was to the idea of my not working, even he was forced to admit that God had left little doubt as to what we’d need to do. My timeline grew shorter. It was further away than I wanted, but I would learn to be patient.

Then Sunday came. And the surprise of my life.

We’d decided to stay home from church, unwilling to expose any other children to the flu we’d experienced days earlier. I can’t even remember what we were talking about, but I know it had something to do with my quitting my job. Jon heard the wistful tone in my voice and smiled at me from across the room. "Go ahead. Quit."

I stared at him in shock; unable to comprehend the words he’d just nonchalantly threw out into the space between us. I felt my heart pick up speed and I choked out the words, "Are you being serious?" I was so afraid to believe he’d uttered those words intentionally and I examined his face for any sign of insincerity or joking. It would’ve been a cruel joke, but I had to be sure.
He chuckled, aware that he’d just given me a shock. "Yes, I’m being serious. I don’t know why we’re waiting, or prolonging the inevitable. We have nothing to lose by you quitting now, and everything to gain." And with that, my world stopped spinning.

I am in awe! Complete and total awe as I have never had a prayer request answered so completely, so absolutely, and so fast. There is not a doubt in my mind that God has moved both circumstances and my husband’s heart to allow me to be a full-time, stay-at-home-mom! Praise you, Father!

I’ve talked with my boss and given notice at work. It’s not the usual two weeks but four; I’m giving them until the end of April. That time frame will allow them to find my replacement and hopefully allow some time for me to train them. It’s the least I can do after all they’ve done for me for the past ten years.

So effective May 1, 2010, I will be a full-time, stay-at-home-mom!

I am euphoric about answered prayers and anxious about how we’ll adjust to the new changes. I’m at peace knowing that this move is ordained by God, yet worried about how finances will work out. I’m excited for all the new prospects and new schedules, and yet I wonder if I’ll miss the daily interaction with coworkers. As you can see, for every good emotion, another worry falls close behind. But it won’t stop us, and it boils down to pure joy at being able to have this time at home with my Littles.

He is so very good!

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

16 comments

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Marsie
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7:36 AM delete

ok, I'm sitting here crying as I'm having to pump before I head off to work...:) I couldn't be more happy or excited for you Jenn!!!!! I'm so thrilled that it's worked out- and for every worry that creeps up, acknowledge it and then hand it over to Heavenly Father;) I love you and am SOOOOOOOO happy for you!!!! (and yes a bit envious but someday I hope I'm where you are!!)

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Neely
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8:17 AM delete

Jenn that is wonderful news! I am so glad for you that god answered your prayers. It is truly wonderful that you get to be with your kiddos full time :) Have a blessed day-Neely

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Becky
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8:55 AM delete

So happy for you, my friend! And I am so encouraged to see how quickly and fully God answered your prayers. He is so faithful to us! I'm so excited for May 1st to come for you!

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Timmarie
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9:13 AM delete

Fist-pumping going on over here. And tears, too.

I love our God and how He has honored your desire. I know it is not every mom's desire to stay home, and I think that is a-ok. But when God gives a YES to one who wants that, it just makes me so excited. He is so, so good.

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Rebecca
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9:36 AM delete

God is so awesome! We are so happy for you and the kiddos. Remember how God worked this all out when you get worried about things, He is incredibly faithful and will take care of you while you're doing His will. It can be such an encouragement to look back and remember all God has done for you over the years.

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Rachel
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10:39 AM delete

Yay! I'm so happy for you, Jenn!!!

~~Rachel
www.nothinggold.net

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Christina
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1:17 PM delete

yay for you and your kids!

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Christina
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2:23 PM delete

That is incredible news and you will LOVE every moment!!!!!! :-D Praise God!!!!

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Christine
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3:24 PM delete

Woo-hoo! I know how that has been the desire of your heart for so long. Praise God for His faithfulness!

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pedro
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7:33 PM delete

Great news Jenn! It's been awesome having Ginny home with the kids. Looking forward to reading more about how this experience goes for you.

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Christine
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8:10 PM delete

SO excited for you Jenn. I'm not at all surprised that God answered your prayers. He is so good and so faithful. I can't wait to take the kids swimming together and all of the other summer activities we'll get to do together now that we're both home full time. Praise God!!

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Anonymous
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12:05 AM delete

Munchkin-
I am SOO excited for you and the family!!! Truly God has shown you the doors opened for this heart's desire. There will be times when it is tough fniancially, but He WILL provide!! The time and memories with the kids are irresplaceable!! I am soo happy for you!! Can't wait to plan little dates and cooking times...
I love you, Mom

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6:12 AM delete

That is SO exciting! I hope He continues to bless your socks off as you transition to being a full-time at-home mommy. Wonderful, wonderful.

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Amanda
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9:34 AM delete

Congratulations! What a great story of trusting and seeking. My husband and I don't have children yet, and the only reason we're waiting is because he is in school and I am the sole financial supporter of our family right now... meaning that I would have to leave a two or three month old baby at home to go back to work full time. I cry just thinking about it. I spend a lot of time crunching numbers and trying to figure out how we could make it work, how much he would have to earn in order for me to go part-time, how much I would have to work to qualify for insurance, etc. etc. etc. It makes me crazy, and in the end, all the number crunching in the world won't match up to God's plan for us. I'm trying hard to stay calm, trust, and pray. It's not easy!

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5:25 AM delete

Jenn, I am so happy for you! I think the most important thing is to have your husband's support - that will carry you through when things get tight(er). You will probably be amazed at the amount of money you DON'T have to spend - lunches out, clothes, etc. And there may be other opportunities for you to make money that you couldn't entertain before, while you were keeping office hours. It really is doable.

I SO enjoyed catching up with you!

Lots of love,
Katherine

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Joyfulness
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6:24 AM delete

Wow. I just read this. How exciting! (and terrifying, I'm sure!)

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