The Confessional

Thursday, July 16, 2009 9 Comments A+ a-

Confession #1:
I have tried remaining calm in the face of this storm involving Hudson and his “failure to thrive” issues, but last Friday, I failed miserably at this.

At Reagan’s six-month check-up, we spent most of the time talking about Hudson and the results of his appointment with the pediatric endocronogolist. As we sat there talking with Dr. Susie, she brought up the possibility of Cystic Fibrosis, not once, not twice, but a few times. Quite frankly, the mere mention of CF sent me over the proverbial edge. I tried going back to work, but after breaking into tears twice, I decided I needed a mental health day and went home.

I truly don’t believe it’s CF, he just doesn’t show any of the symptoms. There’s no respiratory issues, no salty taste to his kisses or skin, and deep down, my gut says no. But it was just one more thing, a mere suggestion, that tipped the scales in favor of my finally breaking down about this whole situation. I just want answers, and I want them now. Only when we have answers can I start to “fix” the situation.

In the mean time, Hudson is eating an ice cream sundae every night before bed (the doctor’s suggestion) for an extra 200 calories, we conducted a fecal fat sample and are waiting on the results, and our appointment with the Pediatric Gastro-Intestinal Specialist is on Monday, August 3rd. One more step on the road to answers.

Confession #2:
My dad asked me if I was pregnant again the other day, referring to the size of my waist. Now before anyone overreacts, my dad often says things without thinking, but never with malicious intent. Trust me when I say that he feels horrible! And now he won’t stop apologizing.

Truth be told, this is the most I’ve ever weighed without being pregnant. I’m a good 15 to 20 pounds heavier than my pre-pregnancy weight. Lucky for me, the pounds came off pretty easily after having Devyn and Hudson. This time around, though, it’s a different story. I’m not sure if its because this is the third child, if my metabolism is slowing down now that I’m close to 30, or any combination of things. Regardless, all 15-20 pounds have taken up residence on my hips and stomach.

I am not a fan.

So, I am working out, trying to get back in shape with good, old-fashioned exercise. I’d much rather exercise than change any of my eating habits. Or so I thought before I started Jillian Michael’s 30-Day Shred. Now I’m rethinking that thought and might just start eating more sensibly.

Nah!

Confession #3:
Just curious if anyone else feels like a peeping tom when reading another’s blog. I’m not talking about the family and friends who have blogs, because quite frankly, they all know I have one.

I’m talking about the blogs that I found through a friend of a friend’s, or the blogs of women who have commented on my own site, or the blogs of the women I’ll never meet on this side of heaven. I highly doubt this person has any idea I’m reading, that I’m following along on their adventures, and wouldn’t know me from joe-schmoe next door. And whenever I notice a blog flips over to private, I stop and wonder if it was my IP address or location, that caused them to wonder if a stalker was lurking about and close up shop.

Am I the only one that wonders about these things? Or is it just me?

[Edited to add, please don't think I'm referring to anyone who reads this blog. I am referring only to myself...]
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I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

9 comments

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12:17 AM delete

I really enjoy reading other peoples stories....We all have one .....and I find myself feeling like their friend.....Wow I am trying so hard to work out regularly....Love your blog....

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pedro
AUTHOR
8:22 AM delete

Funny - yeah, sometimes I feel like a peeping Tom. I always try to get in a comment to introduce myself, but it's still odd to follow someone's life when, as you say, you may never meet them on this side of heave.

On my end, and maybe it's different since I'm a guy - I love trying to guess who's looking at the screen behind the unknown IP addresses.

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Elissa
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9:59 AM delete

This cracked me up because I totally feel like a stalker. Jessica introduced me to this blog when I got pregnant with Kenley, since you were pregnant with Reagan. Since reading yours I've also gotten into Motherhood is Not for Wimps! But, that's why people have blogs, right? Because they want to share their experiences with the world?

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Tamara
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2:10 PM delete

YES! I totally feel like a stalker sometimes, but I never would've met you had I not started reading. Now it's not such a weird thing, just a blogger thing.
Praying hard for Hudson, and for you. You will make it to the other side of this! I can't wait to hear the results. He's going to be great, no matter the outcome.
Oh, I just got some tests results back myself--apparently I have a thyroid problem. Can that be my excuse for not shedding the last 15 pounds? I'm not even motivated enough to do a video (though, I do want to hear how that goes for you).

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Anita Kaiser - Feia
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11:34 AM delete

Hahaha...are you sure you weren't talking about me :-)

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4:19 PM delete

Surprisingly, Anita, I'm not. There was one blog that I avidly followed and then one day, she up and made everything private. I think I scared her away... =)

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Katie
AUTHOR
5:43 PM delete

Jenn,
I think that if someone has a blog, it is totally fine to be a peeping tom! I would never have started reading your blog if I wasn't!
As far as the 15lbs thing.. you look great friend. I know how you feel though. I am still working on sheading those last few pounds after baby #3! It is tough!!
Praying for you and Hudson!

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12:26 AM delete

Just wanted to say "hi." I've been trying to keep up with you here since we moved to Singapore. You're such a good mom!

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Joy
AUTHOR
7:15 AM delete

Calm in the storm is very hard, but the ice cream has sure got to help. ;) Don't suppose it helps with that waistline for you though. My mom asked me the same thing recently. Nope, but I'm trying to work it off - it just isn't easy!

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