Anything Worth Having

Thursday, February 26, 2009 6 Comments A+ a-

"For anything worth having, one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice…" ~John Burroughs

Jon and I constantly find ourselves in awe of how fast we grew from a couple to a family of five. We never imagined that we’d have three children ages four and under, but here we are. I laugh when I think that I birthed a child in 2007 and 2008 because that was never MY plan, but obviously (and thankfully) God had other plans for our family.

This is hard work, I won’t lie. We’re dealing with the needs and demands of an infant; the temper-tantrums of a two-year-old; and the desires of a four-year-old longing to be independent and on her own. There are moments when I’m at my wits end, when I want to escape to my bedroom just so I can scream or kick something in my frustration. Its hard being pulled into three different directions. How to explain to a two-year-old, who wants to play baseball, that Mama is nursing and can’t at the moment? What to do when the preschooler needs help wiping, the toddler needs to be put down for a nap, the newborn is crying, needing to be fed, and the kitchen is screaming to be cleaned?

It’s in these moments that I’m convinced God made the wrong choice, that there is no way I can possibly get everything done. It’s in these moments that my sisters look at the chaos and vow that they’ll never have their children so close together. And while there are times I agree with them, I can’t help but know that this is just a phase and one day, I’ll long for these days again.

Yes, the work is hard; yes, there are times when I feel lost in translation; and yes, moments when coupledom seems like light-years ago. But how to find the words to explain to everyone the absolute joy that fills my heart? That the moments when Hudson comes over for a snuggle, it makes my heart so full. That when Devyn brushes my hair and tells me that I’m going to be beautiful, it makes me stop for a moment and feel rested. That when Reagan coos and smiles at me while breast-feeding, that it’s yet another memory to lock away. And that when I see the three of them playing on the floor, I know all the hard work is all worth it. "For anything worth having, one must pay the price…"

Someday I will blink and I’ll be facing three grown adults, who are hopefully the best of friends. I will look back on the days of constant demands, little sleep, and breaking up fights, with nostalgia and longing for these days to return.

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

6 comments

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Christine
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4:25 PM delete

I don't know how you do it, but you always make me cry. I love my nieces and nephew so much even if they do make life chaotic.
Even now as I'm looking at my last week of maternity leave I want to go back in time. How did 11 weeks go by so fast?

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Jenn
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9:13 PM delete

You are so amazing to be going through all of the craziness and recognize the need to remember and relish it.

Jenn

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Jaime
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1:03 PM delete

Thank you for this post today, Jen! I am at the same point you are, with infant, two year old and four year old--and you're right, it can get chaotic and rough sometimes. But thank-you for reminding me that's it's also a joy and a blessing!

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Joy
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7:06 PM delete

That's beautiful and I completely agree. I know it can feel so overwhelming and like it will this hard forever. Awesome that you are keeping a longer perspective. Those cuties are worth it!

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Marsie
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4:37 PM delete

All I have to say is, again, girl- you can write!! Thanks Jenn, for putting things into perspective:) Love you!!

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Katie
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7:45 PM delete

Couldn't say it better! We are in the same place, only a few years ahead of you. It does get easier, or maybe just different. :) Either way, it goes soo fast. Enjoy every moment!

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