Trying to Surrender

Sunday, December 07, 2008 6 Comments A+ a-

You would think that after everything that has happened this year that I would have learned a lesson or two about trusting God and His timing for everything. But once again I find myself having to "relearn" those same lessons.

Courtney’s wedding is coming fast, very fast. In two very short weeks, we’ll be primping and getting ready to walk down the aisle and watch Courtney and Jeremy exchange vows. These last weeks include last minute alterations on dresses, hair and nail appointments, preparing for out-of-state relatives and friends, holiday shopping, and last, but certainly not least, the arrival of a little baby girl, Miss Elliana Faith.

With the dawning of each new day and Christine has not yet gone into labor, is another day that brings a stressor to the family. We’ve known this whole time that Christine’s due date was five days before the wedding and it was cutting it close; we’ve just always assumed that Elliana would be here by now. Each day Christine gets a little more miserable as she continues to contract but stays dilated at 3cm. Each day Courtney wonders and worries whether or not her sister, and soloist, will be at her wedding. This is downright inconvenient, we bemoan. Doesn’t God know what’s at stake here?!

And then there’s the little one that I’m carrying. After having two children already, I thought there were few surprises in store for this mama. And yet, this pregnancy has brought nothing but surprises. On Friday morning, Jon rolled over in bed and whispered that I should probably pack a bag for the hospital. I smiled my knowing smile and said there was no hurry; this little one isn’t arriving until after January 1st. Jon gently reminded me that my plans aren’t always God’s plans. I hmpffed and rolled out of bed.

Sure enough at my doctor appointment that afternoon, I learned that Jon may be right. With both Devyn and Hudson I always measured two weeks behind; I was often sent in for ultrasounds to make sure they were growing ok and they always were, just small babies from a small mama. However, with this pregnancy, not only have I not once measured behind, I’m actually measuring two weeks ahead! I have my reasons for wanting to wait until January 1st, one of which is that I want Courtney at the birth and they don’t return from their honeymoon until then. But as Jon said, God may have other plans.

I’m trying, really trying, to surrender my plans for Baby Trece, and our family’s plans for Baby Elliana. I don’t know the whos, whats, or whens for these situations and I need to be comfortable with the unknown. I’m surrendering my need to know and plan out each detail. I’m surrendering the idea that I know what’s best and when the timing should happen for both. I’m surrendering to the fact that no matter what happens in the coming weeks, none of it is a surprise to Him and I can trust that His plan is best.

But it doesn’t hurt to continue to pray for the earlier arrival of Miss Elliana Faith and the later arrival of Baby Trece. After all, a girl can still hope, right?!

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

6 comments

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Courtney
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7:59 PM delete

Yes, God is definitly testing our family's faith and trust in Him right now. All we can do is pray at this point!

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Courtney
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7:59 PM delete

Yes, God is definitly testing our family's faith and trust in Him right now. All we can do is pray at this point!

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Tamara
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8:03 PM delete

I have a long list of natural inducement ideas, if your sister is interested. Just let me know.
I'm praying for you & your entire family. It's going to be wonderful, and you'll look back at this time with such joy.

Much love & blessings!

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MamaBear
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10:47 PM delete

Surrendering is hard, but God is probably smiling at your words, knowing that He has it all figured out all ready.

Hang in there! I'll be praying for your whole family.

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Katie
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7:56 AM delete

Oh, how hard it is to put things in His hands!! God always has a way of working things out - but there is NOTHING wrong with boldly presenting your specific requests to Him. Ask, seek, knock - right?? :)
Praying for early baby Elliana and delayed Baby Trece - and comfort for you and your family!!

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Stacey
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6:51 PM delete

Praying for ALL of you right now. Say it with Mary, whose Feast of the Immaculate Conception is today: Do unto me according to Your Will.

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