The Correct Perspective

Tuesday, December 09, 2008 10 Comments A+ a-

There are times that fear, and doubt, definitely get the better of me. When those times arise, I can hear the lies being thrown at me and I realize that this is NOT what trust looks like. Even while my head realizes that I’m buying into the lies, my heart has a hard time accepting it.

Early this morning, around 4:00am again, I laid in bed wide-awake for over an hour as I obsessed and mulled over the fact that my income is being cut in half very, very soon. “What am I thinking?” I wondered. “How can we possibly make this work?” And yet, even in the midst of these thoughts, I could sense the Truth, begging to be heard over the lies running through my mind.

I know, KNOW, this is the right thing for us! This has been something we’ve worked towards since Devyn was born. We know that this was our only decision when presented with the options of full-time or 20 hours per week. There’s not a doubt in my mind that the right decision was made. Yet as I tearfully talked to Jon about it this morning, the thought of lost income was overwhelming.

My sister, Christine, is facing much of the same fears as I, but as always she is the most trusting and faithful sister. Everything about her demeanor, her countenance, shows an unwavering faith that God will provide for their needs. Even if the budget looks undoable on paper, she is trusting that it will all work. And then she said something to me this morning that put everything back into perspective.

“Jenn, we will never get these years back.”

And she’s so right! My children may not get to have all of the opportunities that other kids get, but they will have more of their mama. And I will get to have more of these years with them. I’ve already missed out on four years of Devyn’s life, and there is only a year and a half left before I bundle her off to kindergarten every day. I intend to make the most of that time!

I’m sure the doubts and lies will continue to sneak in from time to time, after all, that is our enemy’s choice way of doing battle, isn’t it?! But I will do my best to continue to trust God for our needs. Not to mention, that it will be good for me to remember true needs vs. wants. And I’m especially thankful for a husband and sister who are willing to offer support and encouragement during my moments of doubt.

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

10 comments

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Tamara
AUTHOR
2:03 PM delete

I SO know what you are going through! My income was our primary, and the transition has been rough. Through it all though, GOD HAS PROVIDED.
These websites have helped:
http://www.cclponline.org/ccs/cfpi_self_sufficiency.php (The "self sufficiency calculator" is on the left--it's a really great tool that helped us see that we couldn't AFFORD for me to continue working.)
www.mint.com
www.ynab.com (great advice--haven't tried his software yet)

I'll also email you another tool.

You CAN do this, it's going to be awesome, and you'll praise God daily (even if some days feel impossible).

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Sherry
AUTHOR
2:47 PM delete

So I'm a lurker...I'm a friend of Dana's...

in the same boat, almost identically. I have a girl-almost 4, a boy-just turned 2, and another boy-three weeks. I teach full-time and my leave is coming up after the break. I am DREADING going back to work full-time, in fact, I'm not sure how we're going to make it work child care wise. So, all that to say, I'm envious that you are going part-time...I'm working up the courage to talk to my boss and see if we can make it happen in Jan. I understand the financial stress as well, but I promise you won't regret it for one minute. I feel like the pay cut will be well worth it. Best of luck...excited to hear about your new one when "it" arrives!

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Jenn
AUTHOR
3:43 PM delete

Your sister is so wise. She should be on Oprah. I was watching Oprah the other day with Suze Orman and this woman had a question about staying home after her baby was born and because she only had two months emergency fund saved not 8 months Suze told her she shouldn't be a Stay at Home Mom- so stupid. Like your sister said, you'll never get this time back.

Jenn

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Amazing Racer
AUTHOR
4:44 PM delete

Devyn, Hudson and Trece will always remember the time with their mama over a toy, trip, or some other temporary joy.

I'll be praying for the lies to be silenced! I'm really excited for this dream of yours to come true!!!

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Tina Janelle
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5:10 PM delete

I remember the years of your Mom and Dad making the sacrifices so your Mom could be home with you girls when you were growing up. I'll bet you are very glad and feel blessed that your parents made that decision, righr?! I know you'll never regret having more time with your children!

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Christina
AUTHOR
5:30 PM delete

Finances are a major issue in life but I have no doubts that God will provide for your family and you won't regret one precious minute spent with your beautiful children.
You will cherish watching God provide for you every step of the way. :-)

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Jaime
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7:57 PM delete

I agree with what everybody else has said---enjoy this time with your children! I'm am sure that God will bless your faithful choice!

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CPT Mom
AUTHOR
3:40 AM delete

I keep reminding myself in these days of financial struggle that we wouldn't recognize God in it if the numbers added up.

Love you.

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Paula
AUTHOR
7:52 AM delete

I will agree with the other ladies as well as your wise sister...these up coming years with your babies is going to be PRICELESS!

I stopped teaching to be home with my babies. It hurt us BADLY! But I wouldn't trade the sacrifice for the income. NEVER!!!The kids will remember the time...not the new Nike's. Enjoy and embrace this gift God has given you. TIME!!

Hugs and Love!!

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Sarah
AUTHOR
6:16 PM delete

God will bless this Jenn, KNOW that He will! That needs and wants list is a lifelong battle for ALL of us, no matter what our income. And your kids are not missing out on a thing when you store up treasures in Heaven instead of on earth, in fact, it's the best gift we can give them! I know I say it often, but think of the Ingalls family. Did those kids have fisher price and dance lessons and designer clothes? NO! And just look at the richness they had. I'm here for you too! You're doing the right thing!
Sarah

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