Smidge of Wistfulness

Monday, August 25, 2008 4 Comments A+ a-

Ahhh, nostalgia… one of my favorite feelings.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I am an emotional, live-in-the-moment kind of girl. I rarely make decisions based on facts or figures; most of my decisions are based on the feelings and emotions that are reigning at the moment. I’ll be honest, making decisions like that can get me in trouble (and actually have been in trouble on a number of occasions) but that’s me. And luckily, I have a husband, friends, and family who are very aware of that and love me for it… most of the time. More on this at a later time; back to nostalgia.

I just love the way nostalgia wraps itself around me and transports me back to a time where I am able to reminisce with longing and sentiment. While I do try to find blessings in the here and now, and trust me that this is harder to do on some days, it’s when I’m feeling nostalgic that I’m able to look back on that time and realize how really, truly blessed I am.

My mother-in-law is currently visiting; she brought her laptop with her and on that laptop are a number of photo albums that Devyn and I perused throughout the weekend. One particular album caught my eye and I felt my heart in my throat as I looked at my baby girl from 18 months ago. It was taken soon after Hudson was born and she bore the same scrunched-nose look as this picture. I felt that guttural punch familiar to moms all over the earth as they realize how much their child has grown.

Look at her… my beautiful baby girl, the baby girl who changed my life and turned it upside down as the idea of unconditional love came to be a real, tangible feeling. This is my baby girl, the toddler-child, who has turned into an amazing big sister. This is the baby girl that since undergoing speech therapy I have gotten to know on a completely different level, and who is actually one of the funniest people I know. This is my baby girl that is turning into the most loving, caring, sensitive, and thoughtful little person, her own person, and whom I am SO honored to have the privilege of mothering.

*Sigh* Nostalgia. I’m sure it’s an emotion that will constantly sneak up behind me in the years to come, just as I’m sure it’s an emotion that most of you mothers are familiar with, and I, for one, welcome it. It forces me to stop to remember what was, be thankful for what is, and look forward to what is to come. It was a beautiful glimpse into the past!

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

4 comments

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Melody
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12:00 PM delete

*sigh* That's the best way to explain my thoughts and feelings after reading this. Oh how fast they do grow.

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Haley
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1:16 PM delete

Thanks for making me cry at work! Can you believe they will be 4 in less than 3 months?!!

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Jaime
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3:15 PM delete

Oh, baby pictures tend to do that! How fast they grow :)

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CPT Mom
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8:13 PM delete

:)

Our girls need to play together soon.

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