Finally!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 16 Comments A+ a-

While camping this past weekend, I mentioned to my friend Mandy that I just did not feel connected to this little life growing inside. "While I'm sure I'd be devastated if something were to happen at this point, I just haven't connected to this baby like I did with Devyn and Hudson."

With both of their pregnancies, I waited with bated breath for the first moment I could pee on the stick to see if two lines appeared. With both of those pregnancies, you literally had to squint to see the first line. In fact with Devyn, I pounced on Jon at 6:00 in the morning, shoved the stick on under his nose, and demanded to know if he saw the line. He was hesitant to say anything, not knowing which answer would send me over the edge, but finally agreed that there did seem to be a faint, light line.

The pregnancy test for this one was taken on a lark, as a way to confirm that I truly wasn't pregnant. How else can you explain that I let Hudson play with the stick for 20 minutes without looking at it?! With the other two, no one was allowed in the same room with me while I waited for the results. And imagine my shock when, not only two lines appeared, but they were shockingly dark and pink. There was no squinting or angling of the test... at all! It was positive!

And now, a good ten weeks after first finding out that God was blessing our family with another child, I am finally, FINALLY, starting to connect with this new life. Overnight, it seems, this baby has grown so much that I am starting to feel little kicks and saumersaults on a daily basis. Overnight, this baby is making its presence known to me and to the outside world. At least once a day, Jon is reaching from behind to caress his unborn child. He gets that boyish, happy grin on his face as he cradles my growing tummy and, while we still can't feel this baby's movements on the outside yet, I felt the baby move in response to his/her daddy's touch. There is finally a heaviness in my womb, the heaviness that says, "yes, this is me, I am here, I can't wait to join you all, just let me grow a little bigger..." You know, that little mound that seems to object every time you hug someone too close or every time a sibling climbs onto my chest for a snuggle. The little mound that seems to say, "stop...squishing...me!"

*Sigh* This is what I have been waiting for, the moment when I realize that I'm pregnant, the moment that I realize that I'm going to be a mama for a third time, the moment when it dawns on me that God has matched another child to Jon and I. I am so thankful and humbled when I think of this child and wondering who God has created them to be; I'm anxious to see the three of them, Devyn, Hudson, and Baby, together as siblings. Oh, I am so excited for this new little life... finally!

We think we've decided on a boy's name... finally... and no, it wasn't on the original list. Any guesses? [Update: I've listed the name in the comments.]

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

16 comments

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Kamma
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9:58 PM delete

I have no idea (I've never been a good guesser), but I'd love to know! ;) I'm so happy to hear you're doing well and feeling excited. I love you!
Kamma

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Haley
AUTHOR
8:13 AM delete

Its going to be Bob isnt it? Ha ha... I'm glad to hear you are doing well and will keep you and the fam in my thoughts and prayers!

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10:21 AM delete

We've decided on the name Braden Jonathan. We are still deciding on the spelling of the name.

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Haley
AUTHOR
10:47 AM delete

Hey! That was the name I suggested!! Yay! It goes well with Hudson and Devyn... but since ya'll have had all this talk about a boy name it is going to be a girl ha ha.

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CPT Mom
AUTHOR
2:54 PM delete

I love your name choices.

And, I think it is fair to say that you have been much busier this pregnancy. I am sure that explains some of why you didn't feel as connected at first.

I loved the movements. That was my favorite part!

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Lange Mom :o)
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3:59 PM delete

Braden Jonathan? Sweet!!!!......Make sure you tell Jim that I at least thougth of him :o)

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Amazing Racer
AUTHOR
4:26 PM delete

LOVE the names you have picked. So glad you are feeling connected.

YAY, YAY, YAY!!!

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Courtney
AUTHOR
9:34 PM delete

I think I like the spelling Braiden or Brayden better.
P.S. I'm 90% sure this one's a boy. We'll see how well my aunt intuition is on this one though.

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Anonymous
AUTHOR
6:28 AM delete

I agree with Christine, go with Brayden, I love that name! Im glad you are feeling connected now, I totally related to what you had to say, I felt the same way for a long time during this pregnancy, especially when your clothes still fit and your sick all the time, its hard to be excited for something so abstract.

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Anonymous
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6:29 AM delete

Ha Ha that last comment was from me
Ashleigh

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Sarah
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9:44 AM delete

so glad to hear you're here friend, especially since this is your last baby. Have a great reunion this weekend!
Love, Sarah

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Melody
AUTHOR
11:05 PM delete

I've been pregnant 6 times (7 counting the molar one) and each time I've connected with the baby(ies) in a different way. I felt that connection the strongest right before they each passed away. It's a strange and exilirating experience to connect so strongly to someone inside your body that you've never met. But you'll meet this little one soon. I'll have to wait a little longer to meet my children in heaven someday.

Blessings,
~*Melody*~

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Joy
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8:12 PM delete

Very nice name! You guys pick good ones.

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Christine
AUTHOR
3:01 PM delete

I had that feeling with Zachary, our 4th. He came quickly after the 3rd and I wasn't prepared. He's such an integral part of our family now that the "connection" is not an issue! So glad you're on cloud 9 with your newest little one!!

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10:15 PM delete

I LOVE the boy name you picked out! If we ever had another boy (and I'm pretty sure we are done with 4 kids) that name would be on my list. :)

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