Going to Work

Friday, March 07, 2008 6 Comments A+ a-

My heart broke a little a few weeks ago.

We were hanging out at my parents’ house, when Devyn ran up to me and told me that she “was going to work”. I looked at Mom, in dismay, and said, “My little girl is playing that she’s going to work?!” At her age I played house and mommy, but my little girl is jumping on her little car and going off to work. [Granted, she still plays mommy and house too, but the “work” playing definitely threw me for a loop.]

It’s been weighing on my heart, obviously since I’m still thinking about it weeks later. But then Devyn and I had another conversation this morning and it made me feel a little better.

She crawled into my lap, facing forward, until our faces were inches apart. “Going to work, Mommy?” she asked.

I nodded, “Yes, Munchkin, I’m going to work today.”

She was thoughtful for a moment, “Am I going to Nana’s house?”

“Yes, I’m dropping you and Bobo off at Nana’s house.” I paused, my heart still aching that I have to drop them off every day. “Munchkin, do you know that I don’t like leaving you? That I love you, even if I have to go work?” She smiled and nodded her head in agreement. I continued, “Would you be happy if I didn’t have to go to work?”

Her face fell and she answered, “No, then I wouldn’t get to see Nana and Alli.” I had to bite my cheek to keep from laughing; obviously that she has her priorities straight, first Nana, then Aunt Alli, and then, finally me. I gave her a quick hug and she scampered off to play.

I realize how terribly fortunate I am that my children get to be watched by my mom and sister; and even though I’d prefer to be the sole caretaker, I know they couldn’t be in better hands.

And God help us all if Devyn (and/or Hudson) ever realize how deep my mommy guilt runs; they’d be able to get away with anything!

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

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HappyMama
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3:56 PM delete

That's pretty sweet, Jenn. She wants to be just like her Mommy. Brooklyn does the same thing. She'll go to work with her purse and in her car, and then she'll come home minutes later and be all excited to share her day. Don't get down on yourself too much about having to work.. you are obviously quite a role model for Devyn!!

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crystal
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4:33 PM delete

Your children are so blessed to have you as their mommy. And Melisa is right, you are a good role model for them. I sometimes feel guilty for not working, so I guess the guilt can go both ways...And like Devyn said, she gets to see Nana, how many kids get to spend the day with Nana almost every day? My kids would love that...

Blessings
crystal

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Beth
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9:59 AM delete

I feel for you on this one!! I was so fortunate to be able to be home with our two girls for almost 16 months (since Brooklyn was born). But about a month ago it became necessary for me to return to work! I was fortunate to find a job quickly and that we found a daycare that had two openings and we were comfortable with. BUT - the guilt is so overwhelming sometimes. Brooklyn still cries when I drop her off (although it's only been two weeks for them) and Bella asks me every morning "You come back, Momma". I know they are happy at daycare - they tell us they are! But it is hard. Bella is always telling me she is "going to work"!

I am so happy for you that your MOm and sister are able to take care of you kids!! What a blessing.

Beth

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Joy
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1:06 PM delete

You are an amazing mom! No guilt needed! (though I know, it's so hard for us moms not to feel guilty about something... or lots of things!) I know my mom wishes she could have so much time with her grandchildren like your mom does. That's a special thing!

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9:54 AM delete

Aww I was just looking around and found this post and blog and it rings so true to me. My mom watches my 10 month old daughter, and while I am SOOO happy that my mom is watching her, it breaks my heart every day to leave. You are an amazing mommy though, and really it is so neat for the kids to be able to see their grandmother every day. I know that my daughter loves it.

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Amy
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1:38 PM delete

Oh, sweet Devyn...she knows her stuff!

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