I'm a Lucky Girl

Wednesday, February 27, 2008 6 Comments A+ a-

I could hear her crying in my sleep, I couldn't tell if it was a scared cry or an upset cry. I blearily looked at the numbers on the clock... it was early morning. "Come here, munchkin," I called to her from the comfort of my bed. I heard the pitter-patter of feet as she made her way down the hallway and into our room. She stood next the bed, sniffling and I could tell she was trying to calm herself down. I reached down to pull her into a hug and as I did, my hands slipped into wet material from her bottom up to her back. "Ahhh," I thought, "so that's what's wrong."

"Did you pee in your bed, munchkin?" I whispered to her, trying not to wake her brother or dad. She nodded her head solemnly and I pulled our joined hands up to my mouth for a kiss. I was surprised, in all the weeks (almost months) of being diaper-free, this was the first time for a wet bed. I pulled the covers off and Devyn and I tip-toed back to her room. First I stripped her of her wet clothes and undies and then I started stripping the bed.

In the midst of pulling her sheet off the bed, I heard another sniffle. I glanced down at my side and in the dim light of her nightlight, I watched as two big crocodile tears made their way down her face. "I'm sorry, Mama," she said. "I'm sorry," she kept repeating over and over. I felt a tiny break in my heart and I sank to the floor. I pulled her naked body into my lap and asked her why she was sorry. "I'm sorry for peeing the bed," was her answer. I wrapped her in my arms as I whispered words of comfort. "Oh munchkin, don't be sorry. It was an accident, you didn't do it on purpose." Slowly my words sank in and she started to calm down.

I finished the bed, put Devyn in dry undies and clothes, started a load of laundry, and then the two of us grabbed a blanket and pillow and cuddled on the couch. She turned into me, wanting to get as close as possible. She asked for "more" when I started rubbing her back. I heard her deep breathing as she allowed herself to fall asleep and I treasured her breath on my face. I looked at the sleeping girl, lying in my arms. How did I ever get so lucky, I wondered. What ever did I do to deserve such a special, sensitive child? And how, I questioned, did she get to be so big? One moment she was nursing at my breast and the next she's running with the big kids on the playground and crying over accidents. Again, I felt my heart break.

I never know when the magnitude and specialness of being a mother will hit me, but I treasure those moments when they come. I am a lucky, lucky girl.

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

6 comments

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Stacey
AUTHOR
6:56 AM delete

Oh this is so beautiful.

And yes, you are a lucky girl!

There is something so grace-filled about the middle of the night moments when they have potty accidents in bed....my son is struggling with this right now and it is heartbreaking to see his own disappointment in himself - none of it from us. As far aw we are concerned, it is completely involuntary and we have to be more diligent about limiting drinks past dinner, and reminding him to go before he falls asleep, etc. But his eyes, they are so sad when it happens - he is so vulnerable, it rips my heart out. What an opportunity to show him the tender mercies of our Father in heaven.

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Christina
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10:33 AM delete

Oh, how I fail as a mother during these night moments. Thank you for your godly example.

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Joy
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8:56 PM delete

That's so sweet. I'm glad you captured that moment and shared it with us.

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Amy
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3:14 PM delete

Oh, Jenn...I can only imagine the relief she felt when you comforted her! What a sweetheart!

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Paula
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12:13 PM delete

Jenn you are so in love with your children. See what an awesome mother you are!!!!

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Liz
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8:45 AM delete

What a sweet daughter you have. You are very blessed. I love how you treasure every moment with your little ones. Thats what it's all about...showing love and compassion and taking the time to enjoy each moment.

Thanks for sharing your heart!

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