Milestones and Heartache

Wednesday, January 09, 2008 7 Comments A+ a-

I've been battling nostalgia all day, but the feeling keeps sneaking back in. You know that feeling, that heartache, that just squeezes your heart until you feel like you can't breathe? Yep, that's the feeling that has kept me company all day. Its bad enough that I've started the weaning process with Hudson, that in of itself wants to bring me to tears. But today was Devyn's first day of preschool and I almost started crying several times today.

You see, back when we got the evaluation for Devyn's speech, the therapist highly suggested preschool. We'd never even discussed preschool, let alone checked any out. But when the therapist explained her reasoning, that she felt some of Devyn's best teachers would be her peers, Jon and I decided that it would be a good idea and the search started back in December. We finally chose a Christian preschool, located in the same building where my brother-in-law teaches high school math. It was a win-win situation, preschool with peers for Devyn, in a Christian environment, where Uncle "Bruce" (Devyn could never say Caleb, only his middle name, hence, Uncle Bruce) teaches. Perfect.

Today dawned cloudy, the sky spitting snow, which seemed to reflect my mood. However, it might as well been bright and sunny without a cloud in the sky as far as Devyn was concerned and for her bright, excited outlook on the day. And so, with my mom with me for support, we headed to school to drop my baby girl off for her first day. We walked her into the classroom, introduced ourselves to Teacher Elisa (I thought of you Elise), explained Devyn's current speech issues, and tried to say good-bye to Devyn. She, however, was more concerned with playing with the princesses than saying good-bye.


Devyn, right before we walked into the school on her first day.


And so for the three hours we were apart, I kept commenting to my mom and sister how I couldn't believe how big Devyn was getting. Not only has she gone through a major growth spurt and is now almost to my waist, but she's getting a little more independent. Oh my, I can't believe I have a preschooler now. These milestones are just a little hard to bear at times, there are times I want to keep them at a certain age forever. But they grow up, life continues on, and I'm trying to enjoy the ride.

She was zonked out about ten minutes after we picked her up. It must have been a good day; check out the blue lips from a frosted cookie she received at school.

Both she and Hudson are sleeping upstairs, oblivious to their adoring mother's looks. I see damp curls, pink cheeks, and sleepy stretches, doing my best to commit these moments to memory. They are growing up, reaching new milestones; the least I can do is put on a brave smile and encourage them in their quest for "more".

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

7 comments

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Amy
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8:40 PM delete

Oh, man! I'm not looking forward to that day with Parker. She looks so happy and excited...I bet it is going to be such a great thing. How many days per week? I'm thinking of you! love, Amy

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8:43 PM delete

At this point, she's just going one afternoon a week. We'll see how it goes before committing to anything more than that.

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Amazing Racer
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6:45 AM delete

I had my first day of preschool this week, too, so I am feeling your nostalgia.

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Christine
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7:47 AM delete

Oh, I know those feelings. Jason's a mush too, sometimes even more than me. Every stage is wonderful when put in perspective.

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Mary C
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4:46 PM delete

Oh! I know that feeling well. It's so exciting when they hit a new milestone, but breaks your heart at the same time! On my daughter's first day she happily wandered off to play while I tried to wait unitl I got to the car to have my cry!

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Christina
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4:23 PM delete

Ahhh she's growing up!!!! So happy she had an awesome time!

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pedro
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5:39 PM delete

Heh Heh . . . I still remember arriving at your house before our first day of Kindergarten. I can't believe my little girl will be picking out her backpack for school in only a few short years.

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