Prayer and Trust

Tuesday, October 30, 2007 7 Comments A+ a-

God is working in my life right now… behind the scenes. I’m not sure what He’s up to, but I can feel things moving around, He is putting events into motion, and lining things up just right before the last piece clicks into place. Only then will I be able to stand back, take a look at the whole picture, and not only understand what it is He has done, but be thankful for the hand He has had in my life. In the meantime, however, I’m a walking bundle of nerves.

Last year I watched vividly as Amanda and her husband heard God’s whispers, obeyed in blind trust, and moved their family to another part of the state to where they had no relatives. But they were excited because they knew this was where God wanted them. I joined alongside her in prayer as she struggled with the changes and was so excited for her when God answered her prayers. It was an amazing thing to watch. Then I’m currently watching Mary and her family as God unveils His plan for their life bit by bit, piece by piece. I’m anxious to see where God leads them.

And to be perfectly honest, as I’ve followed their journeys, I wondered if I had the same ability, the same trust in our Heavenly Father, to blindly obey His calling. It’s just like when you start to pray for patience, be prepared because God will give you opportunities to practice patience. This is a very similar situation; I wondered, I thought about it, and God has called me to obey. I can’t go into details, and the journey is not going to be as life-changing as a move across the state, but I am here, I am listening, I am being prodded to move, to trust Him, to rely that His plan is bigger and better than anything I’ve dared to dream.

Quite frankly, I am scared to death! For the first time in a long time, the future is uncertain, it’s cloudy, and as a woman who hates change, this is not a good feeling at all. I’m trying to calm anxious nerves, worried thoughts, and a restless spirit. I want to know the end result, I want to know where this journey is going to lead me, and I want to know it now! But that’s the human side of me and I know God is smiling as He watches my pacing. On the other hand, I know that I’m being obedient to Him; I know that God is calling me out of my comfort zone and I KNOW that in the end His way is best.

As soon as that last piece clicks into place, I’ll be more than happy to share what’s happening in my life. In the mean time, prayer and trust are my now, and I can rest in that place… for a little while anyway.

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

7 comments

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Amy
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1:54 PM delete

Praying for you, Jenn. Excited to be able to look in and share in this journey with you...but I know how you feel in the process! love, Amy

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Sarah
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3:23 PM delete

Praying for the last click my friend, even though there never truely is a last puzzle peice amen! Just as soon as we think we've settled in, faith tested and "proved", God asks us to take one more step. Won't it feel so good when we meet Him face to face and the last puzzle peice finally IS put into place and He says, "Well done, good an faithful servent!"?

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Rachelle G.
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9:01 PM delete

I have to admit, Jenn, what you're describing is exactly how we got to Colorado. We left our jobs and families behind in California and moved to a place where we knew no one and no job prospects! People thought we were crazy but we knew it was the right thing. Five years later, we're doing great, but I still don't know if we'll ever know (this side of heaven) why God really wanted us here. I guess that's the one thing I'm not sure about in your post. I know you want to "stand back, take a look at the whole picture, and ... understand what it is He has done." But you may never see the whole picture and you may never fully understand what he has done! That won't keep you from being thankful for it, though. Hang in there... this walk of faith might be scary but it's exciting, too!

Great post, and very insightful.

P.S. I tagged you on a meme on my blog... but don't feel like you're obligated to do it.

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9:54 AM delete

God has a funny sense of humor doesn't he! Sometimes I look at my life and just laugh and say it is only because of him that life is this way! My pastor talks about us never being satified in our faith and that everyday we should want a radical transformation in our lives. I pray for you and me and all the other ladies who are our blogging friends that we try everyday to find that radical transformation that God is doing in our lives. I am so glad that God is never finished with me even though sometimes I am finished working on me. He always seems to make his way back through to love and protect me in just one more way. I love you Jenn. I admire you as a woman and friend and feel blessed to walk these journeys with you!
Love
Kris

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9:54 AM delete

God has a funny sense of humor doesn't he! Sometimes I look at my life and just laugh and say it is only because of him that life is this way! My pastor talks about us never being satified in our faith and that everyday we should want a radical transformation in our lives. I pray for you and me and all the other ladies who are our blogging friends that we try everyday to find that radical transformation that God is doing in our lives. I am so glad that God is never finished with me even though sometimes I am finished working on me. He always seems to make his way back through to love and protect me in just one more way. I love you Jenn. I admire you as a woman and friend and feel blessed to walk these journeys with you!
Love
Kris

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angeleyes Blue
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9:18 AM delete

Oh How we grow with change. Embrace this time and revel in it. You are doing great!
Angeleyes Blue in NM---never thought that I would end up in a high desert coming from NY Snow!

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Meg
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8:53 PM delete

How so close to home your entry from Oct. 30, 2007 is regarding my life right now.

Thanks for sharing your feelings about the journey God is taking you on in your life right now.

It's nice to know I'm not alone in the struggle to look to Him and trust.

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