Dancing in Twilight

Wednesday, September 05, 2007 17 Comments A+ a-

I was jiggling a crying Hudson on my shoulder, rocking back and forth, side to side, trying to quiet his hiccupping sobs. I stood behind Devyn’s seat at Johnny Carino’s, begging her to take another bite of her pasta; she adamantly shook her head no. I could feel the tension settling between my shoulders. “This is why God created two-parent families,” I thought to myself. Unfortunately, Jon was working late, and I was proving once again that control and children did not go hand-in-hand. “Shhh,” I whispered to Hudson.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see a couple turning to stare at our table, obviously the jiggling and the swaying were not working and I was fast becoming “that” mom who brought her children to a restaurant where nice people just wanted a relaxing meal, not to listen to a baby cry or watch a toddler assert her independence. I motioned to Mom, “Would you mind getting Devyn to eat a few bites? I’m taking Hudson outside.” She nodded in agreement, and sat herself in my vacant chair.

I took Hudson out the front entrance and settled him against my chest, yet no matter how hard I jiggled, no matter how much I “shushed” him, his crying just grew louder and I could feel my control slipping.

Suddenly the soft strains of the Italian music, from the overhead speakers, pierced my thoughts; Frank Sinatra’s voice soothed my spirit and I started dancing with my son. The rhythm led us into wide circles and my feet moved smoothly over the sidewalk. Hudson sighed, growing quieter with each turn, and burrowed himself more deeply into my body. The evening breeze tussled his hair, sending the scent of his baby shampoo to my senses, causing my eyes to close and memorize every second of this moment. And still we danced on. I could feel his body relaxing with each step, growing heavier against my chest. I opened my eyes and looked down to see if he was sleeping. No, he was wide awake but obviously enjoying this time together. The glow from the red neon light shone on his face and I kissed his forehead, whispering a silent prayer, thanking God for blessing me with this little boy. He smiled in response and snuggled closer. And we danced on, oblivious to anyone or anything.

Someday, far sooner than I’d like, he will be sharing his twilight dances with his wife. Together they’ll listen to Frank Sinatra’s voice, lose themselves in each other’s eyes, and their feet will feel like they’re walking on air. But until then, I’m going to take as many twilight dances as I can with my son.

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

17 comments

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Sarah
AUTHOR
9:25 AM delete

what a sweet moment with your little son! Those dances are my favorite, Emma in her princess dress or Chloe in bare skin, laughing uncontrolably. It's the best! Don't you feel for kids who don't have parents who dance with them. Makes me want to dance with every little child I can get my hands on!
Love, Sarah

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HappyMama
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10:27 AM delete

What a wonderful moment!! I love that your dancing with him calmed him down. It really shows the bond that you two have. This is a wonderful story! And, Amen to two-parent families!!

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Liz
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10:31 AM delete

Oh what precious memories! Having a little boy to dance with is so special...being the "woman" in their lives for the moment, nothing can compare. I love those times, it just makes my heart melt. It only gets better and sweeter from here.

Love the picture of you and Hudson...so sweet!

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Deidre
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11:21 AM delete

Okay, the last paragraph did me in! So sweet!

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Christina
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11:40 AM delete

What a beautiful moment!!!! Thanks for sharing it with us. I was all teary!!!!

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Courtney
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12:11 PM delete

I know I'm biased, but he is such a good looking little baby!

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12:44 PM delete

Commenting through tears here...I know that feeling you describe. Nothing is working to calm the situation and you feel your body temperature rising, how wonderful that your reaction was to stop and savor your sweet boy! Sometimes I feel like my only option is to close my eyes and lay my head on Jesus' shoulder and let him dance the issues away...

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Amy
AUTHOR
1:34 PM delete

Oh, yes...nothing like it! It is so cool you have a place to document those moments so they become unforgettable. Can't wait to meet him:)

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2:28 PM delete

Tears, yes, there are TEARS in my eyes! That was beautiful. Thanks for sharing such a sweet moment with us!! I love it!

And, it is difficult. More than one child is very difficult to balance and juggle. I am learning that more and more. Life isn't easy right now. It just isn't. It is hard. BUT, it is GOOD, very good. I just have to remind myself of that quite often!!

Hudson is a dollbaby!

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Rachel
AUTHOR
3:07 PM delete

Absolutely beautiful post, Jenn!

~~Rachel
www.nothinggold.net

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Stacey
AUTHOR
4:27 PM delete

This made me weep with joy and gratitude for YOU and your beautiful family!! (perhaps I am a bit hormonal, perhaps I have been there and not handled it as well)
What a moment of grace. I love how he responded visibly to your distinct relaxation once the music pierced through the impending cloud....

What a beautiful moment. Thank you for sharing.

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HappyMama
AUTHOR
10:51 AM delete

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JENN!!!!!

Love you, Missy

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Kati
AUTHOR
11:23 PM delete

Wow! You have such a way with words!!! I was dancing right along with you!

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Christine
AUTHOR
5:46 PM delete

I was "that mom" just a couple of days ago. Even the snugli didn't work. But unlike your special moment, every time I left the restaurantwith Zack Elliot freaked out and screamed for me to come back. We left rather quickly...

I'm glad you got your dance with Hudson!

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Joy
AUTHOR
8:24 PM delete

You've warmed my heart. That is so sweet!

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Elise
AUTHOR
10:36 AM delete

Without a doubt, you should print this out and put it in his baby book! This has me teary...I want to dance with my sons and enjoy every moment before their heart is given to another woman. Thank you!

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Laura
AUTHOR
8:05 AM delete

I found your blog by way of Rachel and just had to comment on this post. You're a wonderful writer and this is a beautiful picture of the love between mother and child. Moments like these melt us and remind us of the beauty of being a mom. Although I can't hold mine like that anymore, I can still remember those moments as if they were yesterday...

Beautiful post!

Laura

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