This is hard...

Tuesday, August 14, 2007 24 Comments A+ a-

... much harder than I thought it was going to be. We spent our first night in the house on Saturday night and while my husband was celebrating our newfound independence, I was crying into my pillow.

Devyn was devastated when everyone left our house and became even more upset at bed time. “My house,” she cried as I changed her clothes, “I want Drew, I want Alli, I want Nana and Papa and Ney.” When I pointed out her beautiful room, complete with butterflies and flowers, she buried her head in my shoulder and shook her head no; she wanted “my house”. My heart sank, and I felt extremely overwhelmed. I had unpacked boxes in each room of the house, I had no idea where things were, and now my daughter was crushed to be leaving the security of my parents’ house. She finally settled down long enough to read a book, drink some water, and fall asleep in a fit of exhausted energy.

I crawled into bed with Jon and felt the tears sting my eyes. Yes, it was good to be on our own; this is what God meant by “leave and cleave” but why did it hurt so much? Why was this so hard? Was I upset because of Devyn’s heartbreak and confusion? I don’t know… I’m sure a number of things played into my own feelings. A release from our “high” of buying a new house, exhaustion from moving and unpacking, my own fear of change, added responsibilities, and Devyn surprising reaction, have all contributed to my own heart ache.

It’s now Tuesday and boxes are slowly, but surely, getting unpacked; everything is getting put into its rightful place; walls are being decorated with pictures and frames; and a routine is taking place. I feel much better today than I did yesterday and yesterday felt much better than Sunday. I’m feeling a little more settled, a little more secure in our new place. Devyn is still very weepy, emotional, and a little clingy but I know that in a couple of weeks, she’ll get used to her new house. And it helps that she still goes to her Nana and Papa’s house every day while I’m at work. In fact, she fairly skipped up the walk to the door yesterday when I dropped them off.

Yes, this has been hard, but I know its going to be so worth it. And I’m anxious to see what changes take place within our family as we learn to become a unit of four.

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

24 comments

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Mary
AUTHOR
1:21 PM delete

Don't lose heart, my friend. It will all work out. I know it's hard making a move - you don't realize how attached you become, even though you're dying to get out! ;o)

I'm praying for you and your family. Thanks for stopping by even in the midst of your hard work. That meant a lot.

Hugs!

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andi
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1:24 PM delete

Jenn, I am thinking of you and praying for your sweet family and all the transition that you are going through!

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Anonymous
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1:44 PM delete

It seems like a tough transition, but it will give the 4 of you more time together to bond. The family will be much stronger as a result.

teeth whitener

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Amy
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2:09 PM delete

Oh, little Devyn!

I remember having similar feelings when we moved...especially the whole grandkid/grandparent separation thing. But...we've felt similar about big life changes a lot, haven't we? :) Thinking of you, Jenn! love, Amy

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Liz
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3:02 PM delete

It's so hard to see our little ones having a hard time adjusting to change. I have a hard time with change myself...even good changes.

My thoughts are with you and I pray that the transition begins to get a little easier.
Liz

P.S. Thanks for your sweet comments.

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crystal
AUTHOR
3:27 PM delete

I feel for you...I remember when we moved four hours away from my parents..we did live right next door to them. Ohhh the kids had a hard time, they couldnt just run out the door to nanny and papa's..

I found it is kinda like when you have a new baby except you dont want all the help..I just wanted to get into a routine with my kids and get them used to it and then let people come over.
It is good that they can still go see them while you are at work. It will probably help... Another thing that helped was I set up ther room first so they had their toys and stuff all there.

I'll keep you in my prayers.
Crystal

PS.Love the house and the blog.

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dareth
AUTHOR
3:45 PM delete

Oh Devyn! Change is hard...for everyone. The good news is that kids are resilient. She will probably adjust before the adults do :)
Can't wait to see you guys soon.

And I love that picture of the sisters...beautiful!!

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Wendy
AUTHOR
4:06 PM delete

Change can be hard. I'm sure it will just keep getting easier with time.

How exciting to be in your house though. It looks great. You'll have to share pictures as you get settled in. I bet your love that fireplace this winter! We use ours a lot.

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Jennisa
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4:25 PM delete

I feel that same way every time we move. You are happy to be in the new place, but it's not "home" yet, and that security and same-ness is what we miss...

Thanks for the photos! It's such a nice home! :)

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Dana
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5:16 PM delete

I noticed the Bud Lights on the kitchen counter... it would be a must-need for me too when I was moving and dealing with all the chaos!

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Stacey
AUTHOR
6:57 PM delete

Oh Sweetie!! give that precious girl of yours a hug from us!! I can only imagine what it is like! I will pray for a smoother transition for her!! And all of you for that matter!

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7:31 PM delete

I second what everyone else said. I remember after we sold our first house, I cried the first night in the apartment even though I was excited to be building. You know if it's hard on the parents, it's tough on the kids, too.

Hopefully things will calm down soon. Maybe you can give Devyn something to look forward to...a new tradition in your own home. That may help Momma, too!

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9:14 PM delete

Oh, I can imagine how hard this must be on Devyn...and you too! But I'm glad to hear that you are starting to get a little more 'settled in'. Praying that you start feeling very much at home soon! And thanks for sharing the pictures--your house looks beautiful.

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Elise
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9:22 PM delete

It does get better, day by day. You're already seeing it! You are so blessed to be in a home of your own - but I understand the fear of change. I suffer from it myself! Years from now, you will look back with such love on these very days - so don't forget to find the little joys! Praying for you, friend...

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Jenn
AUTHOR
9:40 PM delete

I agree with the starting a new tradition. A house, is just a house until you make new memories and then in becomes a home.

Jenn

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Laura
AUTHOR
1:19 AM delete

I totally understand the pain you are feeling right now. After making a big international move, I was so overwhelmed the first and second night here (it always hits at night, doesn't it) in our new home that I cried in bed with my husband too. It will start to feel more normal, and it will start to feel right. But in the in-between times, it's just not easy or fun.

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Christina
AUTHOR
7:04 AM delete

Awwww...virtual bloggy hugs coming your way! ((HUGS)) This is a huge change and it's going to take some time adjusting - for everyone. Each day it will get better.

PS: I posted the answer to your question in my comments. :-)

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Sarah
AUTHOR
8:22 AM delete

Oh sweet friend!
Remember those epectations I talked about? They sneek up on us every time don't they! Thankfully, you haven't moved out of state, that would be even harder, but it's through the "growing pains" that we are refined. I love you! Let me know when I can come out and help or just encourage.
Always, Sarah

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Mike
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5:37 AM delete

Yes, everything will be worth it.


Mike
http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.com/

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2:09 PM delete

your house is great and I am so happy for you. It will get better. I am sorry you have to go through this. I know that when we move to Colorado in 3 years that we will have some issues. But we will get through them. I have lived in Texas my whole life, 20 years in south Texas and the next 22 years in Arlington. It will be hard leaving all of our friends. I will be praying for you.

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Anonymous
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6:51 AM delete

You are in our prayers so much...give yourself and your precious family a big hug from us. Jon too!!!!

Love,
Colleen

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Oldqueen44
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2:48 PM delete

Sounds like you have a good grasp on the reason for the tears. You will be fine as time settles you in and the kids have their own space to make messes. Besides you are probably exhausted which,of course will bring tears.
The house looks great.

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Christine
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7:08 PM delete

It will feel more like home every day! And soon Devyn will be in love with "her house"! Rest and allow yourself some time to grieve in the midst of this big change!

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Anonymous
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12:17 AM delete

I can't wait to see your new house! I should be out there within the next month (to move) Love ya!
--Andrea

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