Open, Honest, and Real

Tuesday, December 26, 2006 8 Comments A+ a-

I had a good cry on the way to work this morning; it was exactly the emotional release I’ve needed for a while. The only problem is now that I’ve started crying, I can’t seem to stop the tears from welling up.

I’m sorry that I’ve been absent for almost a week, we’ve had a lot going on and I really haven’t had a moment to myself. There are so many things I want to touch on and keep record of but I find that I’m still processing a lot of it still. But here’s a small list of what’s been going on in my life:
  • The Blizzard of 2006, where we got over 2 feet of snow!
  • Having little to no time with Jon, who ended up working 78 hours within one week. At one point, he put in a 20-hour shift from Wednesday afternoon to Thursday afternoon.
  • Watching out-of-state family deal with changing travel plans due to the unexpected weather.
  • Attending a viewing and small service for my great-grandmother.
  • Dealing with a two and a half hour drive from our local mall to my sister’s house, approximately 8 miles away. (I’m not going back to the mall for at least two months!)
  • Dealing with high tensions and tempers as cabin-fever set in.
  • Handling and nursing back to health a very sick, tired, and cranky little girl.
  • And last, but certainly not least, a tragic accident involving Jon’s aunt and uncle on Christmas Day, where they were t-boned by a driver running a red light. Thankfully, Aunt Kara is okay and the worst Uncle Gary suffered was six broken ribs, but the emotional toll on the family was a little hard to bear.

What a week!! Quite frankly, I’m feeling completely empty; I am emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted. Normally, I like to keep this blog as positive as possible but I also know that I’m human and I want to keep it real too. And at this point, I’m drained and my emotional state is just starting to reflect in my physical exhaustion. I’m ashamed to admit that this is reflecting in my mothering as well; Devyn is so sick and I just don’t have the patience to deal with her. (Ahhh… I can’t believe I’m even divulging that information!)

I know that some alone time with my husband will go a long way in bringing balance to my life again and I’m desperately hoping that wish comes true over these next couple of days. I’m sorry that this is such a downer of a post but this is me… honest, open, and real. As soon as I can see light again, I’ll be back to visit everyone’s blogs and catch up with everyone’s Christmases. I really hope that you are all doing well, I’ll pop in soon.

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

8 comments

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Amy
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10:20 PM delete

Jenn, you sound like you've had such a tough week...I'm so sorry! I've been worried about you in the blizzard and everything. I hope that things start to look up very soon. And I can relate to not having the patience to deal with a sick child. You're an excellent but real-life mama and this happens to everyone. Take a deep breath, pray for patience and an extra bit of energy. I've missed you and hope we can catch up soon. love, Amy

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Amanda
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9:09 AM delete

You know it is nice to have people like you in my life that are HONEST. It's no fun having fake smiles around and your honestly brings me so much comfort. In fact, you encourage me to be honest about the Holidays too. Ours was a little insane and far from perfect. FAR! I honestly don;t think anyone has a perfect life, let alone CHristmas and what you are sharing is REAL life, treasure it my friend.

I think you are awesome!

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Stacey
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12:52 PM delete

Ditto to what the gals said above me. Thank you for your honesty. Don't feel like you have to fake it for us girlfriend! You are a REAL person and we probably wouldn't like you as much as we do if you were PERFECT. That would just be annoying! :)

My hope for you is that in embracing your reality, and letting those tears flow has been somewhat healing.

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Joy
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1:57 PM delete

Thank you so much for honesty and openness. I too try to keep things positive on my blog (but mainly because my MIL is reading!) but I so appreciate hearing that other moms have just as hard a time as I do sometimes. Sometimes it is just hard! And the kids being sick... oh I am terrible at that. Isn't a mom suppose to bend over backwards to help her sick child, sit by their bed for hours on end with no thought to herself? I sure thought so until I'd spent two weeks being covered in snot (we are going on week 3 for Matt). My patience is at the worst when they are sick and maybe it is a bit of that cabin-fever since we have to cancel all our regular activities so they don't spread their germs to other happy homes. Am I venting? I'm sorry! But thanks again for your honesty about life right now. You are in my prayers! And I loved your comment on my blog about how holding on to those treasured, special moments help you through the hard ones. So true! God bless you!!

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The Artist
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2:39 PM delete

Chin up - my friend. It'll all be okay. And you are definitely entitled to be human - no one thinks horribly of you for that. Have a great cry - sometimes that's exactly what you need (well, the cuddle time with Jon will help too!) ;o)

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Wendy
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3:39 PM delete

We've all been there. It can be so hard sometimes. I hope things get better soon. I know it can help sometimes just to share w/others.

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erin
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8:51 PM delete

I've been there, sweet friend. And, it is okay. Don't apologize for being real. I think being genuine is one of the most wonderful qualities a person can have.

I will be praying that God refreshes your spirit. And, that you will get some much needed time with your husband.

In the meantime, take care of yourself, sweet girl.

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Christine
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11:40 PM delete

Just when you think it couldn't get any worse, bam! Another snow storm!! I'm so ready for this holiday season to be over. Believe me, flying on my birthday was NOT my first choice. I'll miss you and I loved this blog. Mostly because I experienced most of it with you. You have a lot of people that love you and are behind you. I love you sis. :)

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