Taking a Break

Friday, August 11, 2006 23 Comments A+ a-

I am in need of a much-needed break. I’m going to take the next week or so to sit down and reevaluate why I’m writing this blog, what my intentions are, and figure out how God wants to use me and/or this blog.

Lately, I just feel beat-up and misinterpreted by the things I’ve written. I understand that its my own fault for being so open with my thoughts and feelings; I know that I should probably develop a thicker skin, but that is why I need to reevaluate things.

It was never my intention for Jon to be portrayed in a bad light, or in a bad way. He is an amazing husband, father, and partner; I feel truly blessed to be his wife. Posts that I have written, either in fun or as a way to write down my thoughts, are being misconstrued or taken out-of-context. In that respect, I’m not bringing honor to my husband as I am called to do.

I don’t know if I’ll be back, but I’ll be sure to keep you posted as to what I decide. For those that have been encouraging, thoughtful, and supportive, I thank you. That was the true intent of this blog all along…

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

23 comments

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Jess
AUTHOR
10:27 AM delete

Sweety, you are not to blame for having feelings, nor about being open about them. Nasty mean people are to blame for being world-full & they are to be ignored & risen above. You did not portray Jon in any light but positive. Those of us that know you & Jon, love you & know your intentions. The other thing about that, is the worldly view of men & women & our roles. But we are here to glorify One. And we know our roles, as deemed by Him. You are fine. They are of the world & don't deserve a single emotion from you.
I luv you!

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Mary
AUTHOR
10:28 AM delete

I know sometimes a break is a good thing (just took one myself.). But I don't think you've been a bad wife for venting your feelings. I think you're being open, honest and real. We all can use that - it helps to see we're not the only ones out there with "STUFF."

I hope you come back. I want to keep up with you and the pregnancy. I enjoy reading your "stuff." :)

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Amy
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10:28 AM delete

I hope you keep blogging! I've never thought that you portrayed your husband in a bad light. I can't even think of what others might be commenting on...hmmm. Anyway, you encourage me with your writing. I think you are real, honest, and I can tell you love Jesus and your family. This is a testimony to those of us out here in blogland. I hope to see you back here soon.

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Jennifer
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10:30 AM delete

Ladies, I hope its ok that I posted your comments from the URL address I had for a bit. I appreciate all the kind words and encouragement. I needed it badly today!

My entry regarding "Sorry, but my kids bore me to tears" entry has been caught by the eyes of some feminist bloggers, who are a little upset with my blog. I've been inundated with comments and I can't keep up with them.

I'll be doing a little of thinking and praying over the next few weeks!

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11:30 AM delete

Jenn--

I've been following you for a while, and I've never been turned off by anything you've said. I'm sorry you've been discouraged.

We'll be here when you get back from your break!

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Dana
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2:00 PM delete

Alright Jenn, here’s the thing: it’s a good thing your worth isn’t in the opinions of others since it more accurately lies in the hands of The One who saved you. I am completely sure and aware that He looks at you, His daughter, with happiness and delight as he watches you take joy in His creations (one of which being the beautiful Devyn Paige), and honestly, how kind of you to share your joy with others.

As hard as it is to take, and considering our personalities are very similar I know it’s near impossible, I would encourage you to keep writing. You have nothing to be ashamed of in what you’ve written. You don’t portray Jon in a bad light, goodness gracious, your entries earn him a father-of-the-year plaque in my eyes.

The other blog (and comments) even claim a fascination with female Christian bloggers-- they love to hate us and truly there’s nothing we can do about it except refuse to back down. Truly though, I laughed while I was reading her baby-lovin-momma bashing because if she only knew you I doubt she’d have the courage to be so bold…

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4:36 PM delete

Dear Jenn
I hope you will come back refreshed and happy. I treasure the openness in which you share your life and faith. I feel that your blog has always shown the love you have for your family and faith, and I like how you look for the positive in everything. I hope that you can move past the insensitivity of some commenters and rediscover the joy of sharing your world and inspiring others.

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R O'Brien
AUTHOR
6:21 PM delete

Dear Jenn:

I am a frequent critic of Amanda Marcotte and her "me-too!" crew and I am sorry that you became the most recent object of their ridicule. (I am especially sorry for what my ex-girlfriend "Nymphalidae" wrote--she can be quite rude and inconsiderate sometimes.)

As blogger Dawn Eden previously pointed out, Amanda appears to have issues stemming from her childhood that probably account for her negative attitude toward pregnancy, children and motherhood.

I commend you for your faith and dedication to motherhood.

Sincerely,

Robert O'Brien

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Anonymous
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7:06 PM delete

Jenn,

I'm a regular Amanda Marcotte reader, my beliefs and yours could not be further apart, and I'll admit that I came to this blog with every intention of mocking it.

But I found myself reading through it instead, quite touched. There's a goodness in you that shines through the words you choose (and you're a terrific writer!) I imagine you and I would attribute that goodness to different sources, but I was moved either way.

I guess I just wanted to let you know that not everyone who disagrees with your opinions feels the need to judge your personal life as well. It seems to me that we should all celebrate our different choices, and whether we follow god or feminist thought to get there doesn't much matter.

Thanks for making me take a look at my own preconceived notions a bit today, and I hope you won't stop blogging,

M

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Anonymous
AUTHOR
8:10 PM delete

Don't let the bullies shut you down, Jenn. I'm a feminist and I'm bothered by the way your opinions and your religious beliefs were mocked by bigger blogs. I've been sick about it all afternoon. My SO said it's like seeing a family picnic get torn up by Hell's Angels.

You're a good writer. You seem to put a lot of thought and love into raising your little girl. Good luck with your pregnancy and with your blog. I, too, hope you keep blogging.

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9:32 PM delete

Dear Jenn
I just went over to Amanda's site and was horrified by what I saw. I have left a comment for them. Please don't let the bullys put you off. I will be praying for you.

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flawedplan
AUTHOR
5:24 AM delete

Hi Jenn,

Another regular from Pandagon stopping by to offer support and well-wishing. We liberals don't all agree or speak for each other, not by a long shot, and this isn't the first time I've wandered over to a stranger's blog based on strong opinion that I would have been hurt by if I saw directed at me. I'm not about defending Amanda, though I don't agree she is in the hurting business, I understand if that rings hollow right now. About quitting your blog, you know what matters, your life, family, your faith and your work, blogging is something many of us are up in the air about and it's got to be okay to learn as we go, stick with what nourishes, and let the rest fall away.

Wishing you peace and well-being,

Robin Plan

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Tefnut
AUTHOR
6:04 AM delete

Dear Jenn,

Another reader over from Pandagon - and I actually agree with Amanda completely, and disagree with you.

So what? You are entitled to you opinion, and your life. If you find joy in it - more power to you, and although I may (and do) disagree with many of your choices, and would be happy to spend boring winter evenings arguing with you.... I believe you have every right to pursue your way of life, and if anybody (including Amanda, including myself, including any and all readers, sympathetic or otherwise) pokes their noses in too much, poltely ask them to leave, ban if necessary, and don't go to their websites.

If I took to heart every misogynous or antisemitic website on the Internet to heart (and believe me - they are more then "critical" of me. Some of them sincerely wish me dead in unpleasant ways), I'd long ago have been hospitalized.

The world is full of idiots. Argue with them or ignore them - but don't let them shut you up.

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flawedplan
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10:27 AM delete

But isn't that what you're attempting to do, Tefnut, stifle her narrative with gratuitous criticism? She's not defensive enough? Do you hear yourself man?

Clearly some people are threatened by your vulnerability Jenn, which is not about you, it's much larger than that.

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12:27 PM delete

Don't let a bad apple bring you down. You're doing an AWESOME job.

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Tefnut
AUTHOR
1:20 PM delete

flawedplan:

But isn't that what you're attempting to do, Tefnut, stifle her narrative with gratuitous criticism?

No, actually. What I said was "I disagree with you, so what, you have a right to your opinions and also to ignore me."

How is that stifling Jenn? by revealing to her that her opinions are not share by everyone in the universe? don't you think she knows that? And again - WHO CARES if I agree or disagree: I have been polite, I have not attacked anyone or anything, and I applauded her right to live according to her choices.

Diagreeing with someone is not "stifling." It's "having a mind of one's own."

Methinks you have a reading comprehension problem.

Jenn: tell us to shut up if you don't want this conversation in your blog.

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9:39 PM delete

Take a breather, but please don't stop writing. That would be, truly, the biggest sin of all.

I'm sorry you're feeling bashed. It's especially hurtful when it comes from other women, I know.

Take care of yourself and concentrate on gestating. You have a lot going on right now.

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10:53 PM delete

Ah, Jenn...

I hate situations like this, because I know what Amanda was trying to say, and I think she was trying to express something important.

And, you know, if you said that it's wrong to talk about someone else's blog, well, probably 70% of the blog traffic would dry up. That's a lot of what folks do in blogs.

But it also had a real, human cost, and all too often, people forget about the human side of things... or forget to value it properly.

I can tell you this: when feminism is at its best, when it sheds its worries and fears, it's about empowering women to make choices. If those choices are to be a traditional wife and mother, that's wonderful. There are folks who have a hard time accepting that; for so many years that was the only role, and for some, it's hard to recognize that one can still choose that role, freely and fully aware that there are other paths one could take.

Your path isn't the same as mine, but then, that's the point... it's *your* path, not mine, and that's why, in the end, it has to be one that's right for you.

I'm sorry you ran into the ugliness that you did. I know some folks are making like you should blow it all off... which is a way of saying, it's your fault if you're hurt because you can't just blow it off like you should.

Let me tell you, it's perfectly normal not to be able to blow it off, to have it hurt. What you don't want to do is let that hurt control you. Because, again, it's *your* path you're trying to walk, not anyone else's.

And because I hope you won't let it control you, I hope you take your break, and come right back, and write what you want, realizing that now you know one of the risks, that people will say things that hurt. And you know you *can* get through it, if you have to.

It doesn't mean it won't hurt next time... maybe it will, and maybe it won't. But next time, you'll know what to expect, and it won't catch you off guard as much.

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Overwhelmed!
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11:43 AM delete

Jen, please don't stop blogging! I love your blog and I love hearing about your family, truly I do! Your honest, Christian outlook on life is refreshing!

There's a saying that comes to mind, "Take what you need and leave the rest behind." I hope you can find the mindset to do this in regards to the comments you receive. Delete those nasty comments and try not to think about them!

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Jennifer
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12:53 PM delete

Thank you to all who have offered kind words, support and encouragement. They have meant more than you'll ever know.

I'll more than likely be back, pretty soon I imagine; I just needed to take this time to evaluate what happened, learn from it, and decide how to move forward.

For those that found me through Amanda's site, I am humbled by your kind (or trying to be kind) words. While I won't disgree that we probably share different views on a number of subjects, I want you to know that you're more than welcome here as long we can discuss the issues, without attacking the person. If we could have stuck to discussing the article that was written, I doubt I'd have been as affected. As it was, it was more than the article that was attacked, it was my person, my family, and my beliefs, so your comments have meant a lot to me.

Again, I have no doubt I'll be back, I'm just continuing to do some soul-searching. Thanks again!

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4:34 PM delete

Hi Jenn,

I am also chiming in from Pandagon to encourage you to keep blogging. I think you have experienced something here that is exactly why feminism can be difficult (but important and positive). The problem is that feminists turn a spotlight on issues that are profoundly personal, because gender politics and the assumptions about how women and men should live together is profoundly personal. The difficulty is that we can't change assumptions and expectations that may be detrimental to women until we look at these personal issues --but when we discuss personal issues, people get hurt. It's hard.

Inspired by your post, and Amanda's too, I have written a post on my own blog in which I quote you:

http://happyfeminist.typepad.com/happyfeminist/2006/08/the_latest_femo.html

(There's nothing bad about you in the post, I promise). Do buck up, and keep blogging. The more voices out there in the blogosphere, the better!

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Joy
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12:42 PM delete

You will be missed. Hope the break is refreshing for you, and I really hope you come back!

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HolyMama!
AUTHOR
12:37 PM delete

i never saw anything you wrote that was negative about jon. maybe you're being a little too hard on yourself...?

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