Positive...Negative...Positive

Wednesday, June 07, 2006 8 Comments A+ a-

“What do you mean my test is negative? How is that possible?” I demanded of the nurse. She shrugged her shoulders and repeated that my pregnancy test came back negative. I considered throttling her for all of her nonchalance and uncaring attitude. I scrounged in my purse and pulled out three different sticks, I laid each one on the counter in a row. “Look at these, there are three positive pregnancy tests, each darker than the last. How do you explain that?” I insisted. She pursed her lips and repeated her previous statement, “The doctor will be with you in a moment.”

I sat in the empty examining room, looking at the various stages of pregnancy and baby development posters on the wall, wondering how in the world I was going to explain this to my family and blogging friends. Surely, after three positive pregnancy tests, I was truly pregnant. I felt pregnant, I knew in my heart that it was true, but every time I came to the doctor, they told me otherwise. I frantically text-messaged my family and friends explaining my frustrations and fears, a few called back to wish me luck and to concede that this doctor’s office must not know what they’re doing.

I was in the middle of a phone call when the doctor walked in. “Well Jennifer, we conducted two more tests with your urine and they came back positive. So, congratulations, you are indeed pregnant.” I breathed a sigh of relief, so thankful that I wasn’t going absolutely crazy. “However,” she continued, “I just want to reiterate that anything can happen during the first trimester.” Excuse me, I thought, did you really just say that to me? You don’t think I’m aware how tenuous the first trimester is? I wanted to reach across the table and shake the ignorant woman, doctor or not. She smiled brightly, “But then again, I don’t usually take care of OB patients.” There was the insinuation that I shouldn't pay that much attention to her words. With a chirpy “Congratulations” she swept out of the room, leaving me to my thoughts.

Thank goodness that woman is not my usual doctor. But she mentioned miscarriage; does she know something I don’t? Should I ask her… I turned off the thoughts in my head and stepped outside into the sunlight. I placed a hand over my tummy and whispered a quick thanks for the blessing I’ve been given. And vowing that I’ll do my best to keep thoughts of miscarriage far from my mind and rest assuredly that this new life is in good hands, God's hands.

I’m a coffee drinking, book reading, laundry procrastinating, husband and children loving, mess of a woman who believes that chips and salsa can fix anything. We have chickens running around the backyard, a mountain of dishes in the sink, and on any given morning, I have at least 10 school forms that need my signature or initials. It’s a crazy life {I prefer to call it controlled chaos}, but its ours.

8 comments

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10:38 AM delete

Oh my goodness...I'm speechless. What an awful doctor! Who says that to a newly expectant mom...actually who says that at all! I realize that the doctor was probably trying to make you aware that the first trimester is the most important as far as baby development, but hello, there are so many more tactful ways to do it! I'm so sorry that you had that terrible experience, but I am so glad that the tests FINALLY came out positive. You're definitely in my thoughts and prayers. Try to keep positive and shove all the negative thoughts out of your mind. You don't need to be stressed about the what ifs, just concentrate on how amazing it is that you have a new life forming inside you at this very moment. Love you!

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Jill Davis
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8:00 AM delete

I am really sorry that happend to you at the doctor's office. Just try to put it out of your mind. God has his hand on your baby. You and your baby are going to be just fine.

I love you

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Susan
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8:45 AM delete

I tried to leave a comment yesterday and blogger was being a pain.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I'll smack that nurse/doctor for you! :)

Put it out of your head. God is in control.

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Mary
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8:57 AM delete

Dear God what . . . never mind. I won't go there. So glad everything turned out "positive" for you! Don't worry about the miscarriage. God is in control!

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5:43 PM delete

So glad things worked out in the end. Think positive, God is in control!!

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12:32 PM delete

Wow. I had a pretty uncaring doctor once. It is so frustrating. I've had lots of scares and it is not fun.

I'll be praying that everything goes well. It doesn't hurt to take it easy and ask as many questions as you need to to feel comfortable. Yes, your baby is in good hands.

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HolyMama!
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11:07 AM delete

congratulations!!! (it totally cracks me up that you sat there wondering how to explain it to blogland! ha!! i would have, too.)

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Dana
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3:32 PM delete

clearly you have better restraint then i do--i would have been across the counter preggers and all giving her a piece of my mind... i'm just so happy it all got cleared up--another congratulations :)

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